I was thinking of you and your H. How are things going? Were you able to get some books? I had a tough weekend and actually thought I was all done with the marriage. I even told my H that I thought the M was over I just didn't know how to let go. He said no it's not over and we will fix this. Today after reading a post in another section, something changed my thinking. I'm going to try and not dwell on the A anymore. I understand how and why it happened, and I cannot change the past. I can learn from the past. I am choosing to work on us and the M. I will try to focus on the future. My H is committed to working on this marriage and knows it will work. I have been holding the thought in my mind we wouldn't be together more than another year. I will no longer think like that! I have to be positive, it was a negative thing that has happened but we can make it positive again. I will not give her (OW) my energy anymore. She may have affect my life for 1 1/2 yrs but I will no longer give her the power to make me hurt. I am taking back my M and she has no control of that. We finally see the MC this weekend, it's been a month (vacation) it is long overdue. But I think I am in a better place today at least. If I start to feel down I will review this post for some ego boosting.<p>Anyway, let me know how things are going.<p>
My Story

Are you doing ok?<p>sty

sty,
I hope you are well today? we are doing better . i'm going to see my mc tonight. my hubby has said he likes the new women that's me . he is not going to think of the past and wants to make a new life and be happy again. he is still thinking about the A but not for long time. we are going on dates and that kind of stuff again. we talk for hours. it's like we are startimg over agian. and we are having fun with each other. i hope you can move ahead. i think it is great that you are thinking about your m and not the past. don't let her win. you are to good of a person to let that happen. take 1 day at a time . in my case i'm doing every thing in my power to make my h happy again. i hope it works out for you. let me know how you are doing? bye

Glad to hear things are going well. Things are going really good for us now. I think I have to credit time for this one. I just can't keep dwelling on the past, I cannot change it, I don't have to like it but I have to accept it to move on. I think that is what I have done. I love my H and if I want a future with him I cannot keep bringing up what he has done. I'll never forget it but it doesn't have to be the main focus. We went to the mc over the weekend and it went well during our discussion we realized it would be a good idea for my H to see her on his own to work out some issues regarding his feelings/emotions (the fact he shows none and keep everything it). It is because of his childhood, she hopes to help him with that. I hope she can because I know it will affect our relationship (for the better). I think I'll mostly be posting in the other sections since it's been 3 months since d-day. I'll be looking for you. I think I feel a connection because our situation mirrors each other. Best of luck to you.<p>keep in touch.<p>sty

sty,
you hit the nail on the head when you said were are alike. i'm glad things went well at the mc. and i hope you are feeling better. in my case i didn't do this to hurt my h. i was lacking something that i didn't see in front of me. it was there but i didn't see it clear. i'm so osrry that you and my h are hurting so deep. but in time we will try to heal your pain. your h and me have the same stuff. i came from a divorce family and my family was never around. i grew up in a mess. mother passed away when i was 19 . lost our first baby at 20. and never worked on my issue. my mc told me that's why i feel the way i do today. and i look back and i can kinda see where she is right. my hubby is the only one who loves me for who i am. and i'm so sorry that i did this to him. i guess it takes something to make a person wake up. i wish you the best of luck with your hubby. if you want to e-mail me sometime alr1224@aol.com have a good day today and remember you are very special to your hubby, bye