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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 1
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 1 |
I just recently found out my H cheated on me with a friend of ours. I knew we were have intamicy problems do to my low self of steam. He said that he had got it in his head that I didnt want him and I wasnt attracted to him anymore. He says he doesnt blame me. Well I guess he had started confiding in her, it started with flirting than one morning it went further. They both said it stop in the middle, he relize what he was doing was wrong. this was in December,they havent talked sense. I wondered why she stop calling, now I know. They both say they dont want anything to do with other, and he relizes what he almost lost. I may be able to forgive him,, but will that trust we had every come back? We were high school sweet hearts have been together for 11 years married 6 and have a 4year old son, can this bring us closer?<p>dj
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 25
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Member
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 25 |
LD
Yes this can bring you closer. But that is up to the 2 of you. Get into Marriage couseling. You will have a million questions. He should answer them again and again. You should be upfront about your feelings and he about his. Openness, Honesty, being intune to each others needs and emotions. That's what it takes. And also alot of time. Take it slow. Your not alone.
Passmeby
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Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 14,283
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Member
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 14,283 |
I am so sorry for your pain.<p>As to, "why with her"...I know that makes it seem even worse, somehow. But it is a common occurence...someone who was already a friend, talking together, boundaries start to blur and it makes it easier to go too far.<p>Yes, it can end up making your marriage stronger. Many of us who've been thru this have found that. And, in your case you are lucky to have a H who stopped and wants to rebuild...I know you don't feel at all lucky right now, but you are truly twop steps ahead of most.<p>Good set of articles if you haven't read them... Click Here.<p>Good luck--<p>Kathi
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