Okay I've read and I've read, articles, stuff, etc. on this site. discussion groups, etc. etc. <p>I'm ready to BURST!! .. I don't KNOW WHAT to do now? FIRST OFF. Dr. Harley say's ONE THING that makes me feel. GIVE UP! forget it! and I really have a hard time with it. <p>As I've said.. My wife said "she's NOT in love with me anymore" .. in an article of Dr. Harley's he says, ask the question "Does my spouse have a reason to be in love with me?" .. <p>Well HELLO.. NO of COURSE SHE DOESN'T .. I had an affair on her. WHY would she want to be in love with scum?? <p>I'm confussed?? I love her dearly, I want my marriage to work out, I'm truely sorry for it. YET she feels nothing after 3 years for me? <p>I don't know if she truely wants to work on the marriage or if she only does what I ask to go through the motions? <p>I so badly want to tell her how I feel, YET I read different things that say, BE PATIENT. Don't talk to much. etc. etc. YET , other's say .. tell her how you feel. <p>I just want to tell her I'm scared, I feel unloved (well duhhh, she explained that part) .. I need affection. I need to know that when I get up for work in the morning and get my paycheck everyweek, etc. that i'm doing it for something, that it's for my family! <p>I worry that i'm doing it just to pay up the bills etc. so that she can then kick me out and afford to live and pay bills on her own? <p>HOW LONG AM I SUPPOST TO GO without any emotional love or effection from her? NOT just motions?? She won't open up and talk to me about anything? <p>sighhh. ok.. i'm done venting or whatever it is I just did LOL

SML:<p>She's probably just really angry with you right now. I sure was at my W for... heck, I'm still angry with her after 3 months since D-day of her A. She may even still love you even though she says she doesn't. In any case, communication is better than not, so if you want to talk, TALK. See how she reacts to what you have to say. Tell her how concerned you are that she might not want the M, and ask what you can do to restore her trust, respect, and love for you. Just waiting patiently, without any feedback from her on how you're doing and what she needs won't get you very far. It'll just get you more frustrated, and her more suspicious and angry. I don't think that's the intent of MB methods either.<p>Good luck!

Sorry 2long, I guess you missed my other post (look down a few days) .. Umm I understand 3 months you'd be angry, BUT WERE TALKING 3 YEARS here. it's been three years, and I"ve done everything in my power to make it up to her. But don't want to repeat myself, if interested other post is down below if your interested

SML:<p>Oops. Sorry about that. I did read the other thread. Yeah, that's a complicated situation. Did your W ever face what she did to your M as a result of her As? Seems like she's acting like your recent A is the only problem with your M right now. <p>persevere.