First of all a big thank you and hug to everyone here!<p>A special big hug for FormerHopelessOne and loverhermadly – you two really helped me through my worst times!! <p>My H gets it! He really and truly gets it!!<p>
I am very encouraged with the progress we have made. I don’t expect us to resolve our marriage over night or the next 6 months. I do expect us to resolve our marriage. I want and need you as my wife. I love you so much.<p>We both have the strength and ability to overcome our past. I love you for the effort you have gone to, to empower us and enlighten us to do this. I am very excited about the Marriage builders support you have introduced to our life.<p>Sometimes I let my excitement get in the way of recognizing your feelings of hurt and sadness that I have caused. Truthfully I just want everything to just get better and put the past behind us but you have taught me better then that. I don’t always recognize your feelings right away but eventually it sinks in. You need to go through this in order to get on with rebuilding. I am going to work on being supportive and honest with you to help you with this process.<p>
I now see the light at the end of the tunnel. I realize that tunnel is full of twists and turns, but I really think we’ll make it. <p>I never would have made it this far without all of your wisdom and support. Finding this site and reading and reading and reading, has made me understand the process, which in turn has helped my H understand. By following the advise given, and not doing the crazy things I wanted too, we’ve overcome the first, and I think hardest, obstacle. I can’t thank you all enough.<p>I know now we have a lot of hard work ahead of us, but I’m comforted by the fact you’ll all be here when I need you.<p>Right now I’m on a high. It may not last, but I’ll enjoy it while it does.<p>Just wanted share the news with you. You all are part of this victory. Thanks.<p>H&S

H&S,<p>Just happened to log in to check on you. What can I say? I am so happy for you both!!!!!!!!! I'm guessing your H wrote this to you. My H also wrote to me, something similiar to this. That is when I knew he "got it". Keep that letter close, so you can remember how he feels. He does "get it". That is wonderful and you will make progress in your recovery because of it.<p>Sometimes it takes them some time -- I think that is because, as your H stated (and my H also stated in his letter to me), they just want to put this behind them and move on. They don't realize at first the major impact this has on everything. It is a wonderful feeling when they "get it". <p>Continue to have patience with your H. I found with my H, once he "got it", he also was very overwhelmed by his feelings of guilt. He felt a great deal of remorse. To be honest, that will help your recovery also (not that you want your H to feel pain), because it will reasure you that your H "gets it" and I think it is a little reasurance that they will not make the same choice (to have an A) in the future, because they actually really feel the pain they have caused. JMHO.<p>Keep up the good work. You will still have some down times, but refer back to the letter when you feel sad. Keep thinking positive thoughts. The down times will keep getting further and further away. <p>I am so happy for you and your H!!!!!!! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>FHO

I am so very happy for you both! See -----> [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <--- Sounds like you both made it to the turning point. I am happy for your H, now he can accept what he has done and start to forgive himself for it. I know that might sound a little crazy but he needs to be able to live with what he has done if you are ever going to be able to live with it. It took me a little time to learn that... <p>Remember this day, it helps when things get rough, and they will, but that's no reason to get worried. It's all a part of the healing process. When my wife and I get sad or upset we work it out, we help the other work it out, we build from that experience. You made it though the worst part. Now its all learning about one another needs. Finialy you both are on the same team again. <p>I got this in an email as I was replying to your post so I thought it was kinda cool.<p>The five simple rules to being happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.