Hello Fellow MB members,<p>What are the classic signs of withdrawal? WH stated that he is tired/depressed and unable to sleep. Are they the norm?<p>I don't know if he has stopped total contact. But he has said that he did want to work things out.<p>I told him that I knew why he was feeling that way. I then told him that I felt he wasn't ready to hear it. He kept on asking me. So I finally told him. I told him that it was symptoms of withdrawal from the ow. And they will continue to come back everytime he has a encounter. H said what do you think that I have see/talked to her. I said NO.. But I really do, but I didn't ask.<p>As of today H said that he was going to tell me everthing regarding his whereabout. I told him why. And he stated because you want to know and this way you don't have to follow me.<p>I told him that I no longer do that nor do I beep him 10x or more daily. Well except for yesterday. But I said that I was sorry for that.<p>I don't know what is happening now. THE ALIEN HAS LANDED...........<p>Lost

lost,<p>It is normal for people under stress, withdrawal is a very stressfull event. Different people reacted differently, is that your H's behavior under stress ?.
<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr><strong>I told him that I knew why he was feeling that way. I then told him that I felt he wasn't ready to hear it. He kept on asking me. So I finally told him. I told him that it was symptoms of withdrawal from the ow. And they will continue to come back everytime he has a encounter. H said what do you think that I have see/talked to her. I said NO.. But I really do, but I didn't ask.</strong><hr></blockquote>
You should start honesty here ... no LB'ed ... just tell H that you beleive him but you are unsure about it and don't know how to handle it.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr><strong> ... I told him that I no longer do that nor do I beep him 10x or more daily. Well except for yesterday. But I said that I was sorry for that.</strong><hr></blockquote>
You should tnak him for his effort and give him a reward ...<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr><strong>I don't know what is happening now. THE ALIEN HAS LANDED...........</strong><hr></blockquote>
Should not feel this way, you H try to ammend you. You should help him out ... by giving him some credit and encourage the behavior that you like. I don't know your H but I will try to work harder if I see my W so happy and excited and I get ... a hug and a kiss [img]images/icons/blush.gif" border="0[/img] . THE ALIEN IS LEAVING [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] -RH-

Lost!<p> This is wonderful news! My H returned last Monday after leaving me Jan 1, 2002. He said he too wanted to come home and do whatever necessary to work on our M. But he has not done a spec of what your H has done. He is still involved with OW although she is in another country right now. He still e-mails and calls. He is hinderinfg his own withdrawl by showing our friends pictures that they took together. He took her pictures out but I see the negatives. So everytime he shows the pictures his clock is set back to 0. WE have gone through 1 week of very awkward he**. We went to visit his parents on Sunday and he stayed and has not come home since. Says he needs some time with his parents.
I have not LB since he left me in Jan or since he has been home. he told his sister he can not handle how nice I have been and how calm I am about this. It makes his guilt worse. Good. You should keep plan A ing your H. Let him come to you. Try not to LB. My C told me tonight that my H is looking for any reason to push me away or make me snap and bash him but I have not. He says if I LB at all my H will say "See I am right to leave you for her. Your ------" (whatever lame excuse he would use.)<p> Even though my H said he would do whatever it takes he does not tell me where he is going or anything. I do not ask either. I will not suffocate him. My C said I am being ssssoooo kind and patient that I am giving him tons of room and rope to hang himself with guilt. Hopefully he will wake up before it is too late.
Remember in withdrawl you have to plan A strong and not expect anything and not take what they say to heart. It is very hard but you are strong.
I see promise in your post and hope to be where you are some day. Stay strong and keep it up. You give me hope.
Forgiver

redhat,<p>It is normal for people under stress, withdrawal is a very stressfull event. Different people reacted differently, is that your H's behavior under stress ?.<p>I really don't know. My H never really complained about anything. H usually kept everything to himself. Well, up untill H meet the ow. It is really hard for him to talk to me, I just told him that I would be there for him when he was ready to talk. <p>You should start honesty here ... no LB'ed ... just tell H that you beleive him but you are unsure about it and don't know how to handle it.<p>H called me from work awhile ago and he asked me if I had called to check on him. I said what do you think? And he said Yes. I then told him no that I didn't and I really want to believe him. H then said he would be home right after work.
EARLY............... Yesterday he came home early too. Smile(I don't know how to use the faces yet). <p>You should thank him for his effort and give him a reward ...<p>When he comes home I will thank him for his effort. <p>THE ALIEN IS LEAVING <p>I am not so sure that is why I question his behavior. But I am really trying and I will encourage his behavior when ever possible. The C said that he had to not see/talk to ow ever again. And H said o.k.. I told him that he had to call her and tell her not to ever beep him again. H said that he would but in his own way. And I am not going to ask him. YET........<p>Lost<p> [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img]

forgiver,<p>This is wonderful news! My H returned last Monday after leaving me Jan 1, 2002. He said he too wanted to come home and do whatever necessary to work on our M. But he has not done a spec of what your H has done.<p>Don't get discouraged. Plan A your butt off. My H just started this today. My H still don't want to talk about our M, but that's o.k. too. All in due time.<p>he told his sister he can not handle how nice I have been and how calm I am about this. It makes his guilt worse. Good. <p>Yes. GOOD. <p>You should keep plan A ing your H. Let him come to you. Try not to LB. <p>I will if you will........... But you know how hard it is not to LB. <p>Remember in withdrawl you have to plan A strong and not expect anything and not take what they say to heart. It is very hard but you are strong.<p>Thank you, you are strong too. It really hasn't been that long since my actual d-day 03-18-02. d-day2 04-17-02 d-day3 04-28-02. But I will take what I can get. If H is truly sincere I will eventually know one way or the other. And at this point I know that I will be o.k. with or without H. Things happen for a reason and I know that this has been an awakening for me. I LOVE MY HUSBAND so much, but you know something. I had forgotten that untill the A came to light. My H use to be so wonderful to me and I want that back and I am going to try my hardest to save my M. KEEP FIGHTING....... STAY STRONG...........<p>I see promise in your post and hope to be where you are some day. Stay strong and keep it up. You give me hope.<p>I just happen to be having a break thru at this point, that doesn't mean it will last. But I hope things get better, just like you do.
Continue to try and don't give up.....<p>Lost