I have been married for 6 years. Sex has always been a problem for my husband. I believe he has a low libido. He is on medication for a chemical imbalance, wellbutrin and paxil. Today he seems fine. Moody alot. He works early hours, I also work. I do most of the house cleaning, all cooking, grocery shopping, ironing, etc. In other words, he doesn't have a lot to do except pay bills. We do a lot such as movies, dinner out, fishing almost every weekend, we hunt and camp. When he wants something, he usually gets it.
We had problems during our marraige such as, he was submitting his picture and asking women for sex. This happened twice and we sought counseling. Another occasion, he downloaded call girls names and addresses in our area while I was out of town. He says he didn't pursue it, but he also lied about the internet stuff until I showed him. Also, 6 mths. ago he fought with me and left for a week. He said he went to a motel. I changed the locks and I was going to file for divorce. He is never happy and I am worn out with his games. He never wants to have sex. I might get it once a month. When I do get it, it lasts 10 minutes and is the exact same thing every single time. I have talked to him about changes and more sex. Nothing has changed. I told him tonite that sex is a great portion of marriage and so is touching (I don't get that either) and if he can't change that, I can't change how angry and let down I feel. I feel neglected, my self-esteem has been lowered dramatically and I am thinking of other men and having affairs.
My husband is 8 yrs younger and acts 20 years older. I have men talk to me, I have been fortunate to look nice. Too bad I no longer feel nice. He starts arguing with me before he thinks he might have to have sex with me.
I am not sure he will ever change and I don't think I can continue. This really hurts. I thought I had found the perfect person and yet we continually argue about sex. When I had boyfriends before I was married, we had sex atleast 3,4,5 times a week. I now have it once a month if I am lucky. It's not time, he makes time to go fishing, hunting, work on the boat, etc.
I have no idea what I should do.

Did you know that the anti depressant Paxil will lower the sex drive?<p>Have you tried to discuss the low sex drive, when he is in a good mood?

Yes, to we have talked about the meds. And yes we have discussed the sex issue quietly. It's not just the sex issue but the entire intimacy issue. He lies on his side of the bed and never moves over to mine. He goes to bed early, but either never tells me when and usually never kisses me goodnite. I feel as though I am not in the circle. Sometimes I feel used. I am there for him, but he is not there for me. We are like two strangers passing by. I told him that I like having a friend to do things with, but I also need a husband that shares thoughts and holds me. I feel as if I had something serious wrong with me, he would be the last person to talk to.

what are the chances of counseling...?<p>If he is getting this stuff off the net, and logging call girls, he has sexual urges, but something is holding him back. This guy needs a MC. Any chance of that happening? Will he tell the counselor the truth? If my wife had asked me to go to counseling, I would have dragged my feet. ONce she told me she was thinking of leaving, I agreed and we have been in counseling for 4 months with much progress.<p>Good luck.