I'm a member of the military and have started to get sent away a lot since September 11th. I've been away from home for about the last 6 months (on an off). The last deployment was only 2 weeks. I called my fiancee 2 times a day (because I know he is needy)just to see how he was doing and to tell him how much I loved him. When I came back home I noticed right away that he was acting different. I confronted him and asked him what was wrong. He said he just wasn't feeling well. Something still seemed wrong to me (but he's been so good to me the last 2 years, and his father cheated on his mother and he always said that he hated him for that and that I would NEVER have to worry about him doing that to me). So, I asked him what the heck he did?! He didn't say anything and I flipped out!! He finally said that he had cheated on me with a friend of his from High School (he had been friends with her for 7 years). I freaked out!! I started to cry at first, but then got really pissed off!! I started punching him in the face and just hitting him (we live together). I was so mad!! I stormed out of the house.
I went to see my father and talk to him about it. When I finally had calmed down enough, I went back home. He told me when it happened, where they were that night and what led up to it. What really hurts me the most is that I remember that night. I remember calling him on his cell phone to say goodnight and he sounded drunk. He told me that he had went to the casino with the girl and a couple of friends and now he was at a drive in getting food and the girl was behind him at the drive thru and that they were going back to his mother's house to "hang out". I remember that I got mad and we got in an arguement about it because I didn't know this girl or what her intentions were towards my fiancee. He told me that they were just friends and I had nothing to worry about. that he loved me. We talked for over 30 minutes! Then he gets off the phone with me after telling me how much he loves me and has sex with her!!
I'm just so hurt, mad, devestated, humiliated, and sad. Since the affair was revealed (it was a one time thing), he's done everything I've asked of him. He got a new cell number, got a new e-mail acct., given up friends that were bad influences (doggs!), and we started going to counseling (which he suggested and pays for).
Please give me your view. Thanks.

wounded,<p>I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I can understand your pain. I'm glad you found this place because it's a good place with good ideas, and others that share similar situations.<p>You should be encouraged that your Fiance is doing the right things to distance from the OW. Since He seems responsive you have a very good chance of recovering from this if you go thorough some of the MB processes. Get some of the books offered here they are really good, and will set you up for a lifetime of a good relationship if you apply the principles. They will help you understand what causes people to have A's.<p>I would get your Fiance to this site and get him reading the books too. Since he seems open to doing what it takes, and (he doesn't really want to have an A like his father) then give him a second chance but he needs some knowledge on how to avoid an A. Hang in there!<p>Best wishes.<p>[ May 16, 2002: Message edited by: Want2FixIt ]</p>