Hi SS,
if you need to know why I'd love to find Plan A 1/2 is to avoid this :

The statement that you don't even recognize the person sitting across the table is so true. That this used to be the most trusted friend and now what.....

And the common goals, efforts, projects you both worked on, attending to kids needs all stopped and treated like they were never important, non existant maybe even.., the blam-o games

Now I feel like I just saw the preview.

So again, most probably I will stay quiet to preserve energy needed for everyday life and to however slow, but following my road with MB plans.

I might vent, but my dear friends provide other outlets for that. I joke to myself I should have seven trusted friends to bother each of them once a week only, in reality the frequency is less, but the dose too large I feel.

Again, the thinking me knows too well no pain no gain, act not hope, if one approach fails try another, and that if the miracle was to happen , it should have already ( the do not call them miracles for nothing though...), Too bad the thinker is so scared.

I remain on board.
LurkingFBOW

I think you did see the preview.

Notice that he attacked her - and he is the one at fault. She is just trying to protect herself but he lays all the blame on her, turns and twists everything she says to make it sound like she is the one causing problems.

Your H already does this if you confront about anything at all, and at times EVEN IF YOU ATTEMPT TO TALK TO HIM. Something so simple as trying to have conversation with the one you are married to, and he does that same thing. I hope I don't make you cry, because I know - at least in part what you live with.

As I have said before, I worry that he has his own plan and will spring it on you when you least expect it. If he starts being nicer, I would really worry about that.

When you live with someone that acts like that, you OUGHT TO PROTECT YOURSELF. I also think you ought to protect your childrens future.

I believe those here don't see your posting as a bother. I know I do not. If you are trying to protect us, you are worrying about the wrong person(s).

You know what the choices are.
1. Improve, he comes back to the marriage.

2. Stay the same - no kind of life, but I believe you could do it, especially if your job situation was something you liked. Should you do it? I am no judge.

3. Change something.
Emotionally I don't understand your fears, because I am not where you are. Logically I do, and I see a way out of all of them. I also see less stress - and that is a big one over time.

The hard part if knowing what the right thing is. Once you know, then the path is clear.

If you know - don't stall. If you do not know, pray until you do know, and once you do know, go after it with all your heart.
If it is the right thing, it no longer matters what the risks are, or what the outcome MIGHT be.

If you were giving advice to Sue right now, what would you say?


FBOW - your name shows us your goal. As I said, I cannot judge. I just hope I am wrong about my fears. Once I spoke about treating the relationship (dealing with the A) as war. You can see from your preview why I said that. When you have someone going after you like he did her, it is the only way to get anywhere. HE will continue to keep that same attitude unless something happens to bring him to his senses. If she had total control of the home, and the money - he just might want to talk to her in a normal fashion. You always want to negotiate from a postition of strength. I want to repeat that I don't see your H as the enemy, but I see his actions and choices as the enemy. Something needs to be done about what he is DOING, and what he MAY DO with your joint finances.

Ah, I have said enough.

You already know these things, and they are often on your mind. I continue to pray that you might know for sure what to do.

SS

FBOW

thanks for stopping in. I'm sorry I have not been there lately for you. I've been alot wrapped up with me and I will probably be for a while. Even if I don't come by much, I'm still thinking of you

Had an urge to post today ( a leap yaer) Hopefully it will be my last chance, as much I appreciate this forum I hope that I will graduate from it in four years...
Wishing success to everybody and myself,
FBOW

SS,
may I ask why do you think it might be too late for a Plan B?
Is it because you think my $LB is too empty, or is it because I failed to fill my H bank for the past two years so there is NOTHING he will miss?

I had a couple of bad days again, working on my assertiveness, getting meager results.
Exchanged couple of practical questions for fog talk ( I hope- cause if this is real then I should be done long time ago..)
I am still very confused - I am always attempting to discuss (POJA?) actions that affect both of us or the family BEFORE I do something.

Reality is that I probably should just DO what I think needs to be done and then later face and be ready to defend my actions or plainly stand by them.

This is the part that needs courage. Not the withstanding of attacks, but being sure that mine decision was the best one. When I have no doubts what I chose is right I have no problem dealing with the consequences or paying my price for a deal. But there are a lot of choices in front of me right now that I am still very unsure of. Big ones and smaller ones, financial, health, education related, it bothers me I have to make them with limited info, yet take all the price and consequences onto myself.

Again, nothing new, SS really.
I do ask for His guidance, have not received it quite yet.

FBOW

SS,
may I ask why do you think it might be too late for a Plan B?
Is it because you think my $LB is too empty, or is it because I failed to fill my H bank for the past two years so there is NOTHING he will miss?

I think your $LB is very low, but you are a very strong person and it could very well be, that you could go on for years on "strength of will" alone.

I believe you did a very good job of taking care of your H, much better than probably 95% to 99% of those who come here.

NO it is for a different reason I worry about it being too late for plan B.

At first everyone around notices that something is wrong, but after a while that feeling wears off, and they begin to treat it as normal. Some of the help that could be gotten from friends and relatives is no longer available. The person in the A has time to think up excuses, and cover some of their larger mistakes. It is not as easy to expose, and when it is done, it doesn't have as powerful of an effect on bringing the A to a close.

Your H shows no signs of remorse, or conscience. It seems to me - after being here for a long time, that timing is often important. Once H was not as firmly entrenched in what he is doing, and he had doubts, but he appears to have seared his conscience, and It doesn't look like it functions any longer. The longer a person persists in destructive behavior, the harder it is to get them out of it and back to normal life. That applies to all kind of addicts, not just people in A's.

After watching your H over time, I am afraid he may be too far along the path of destruction to be able to come back. Once he claimed it was over, but he went back in even deeper, and there were no consequences. It also looks to me like he has a problem with anyone challenging his "authority" and that he may look upon any type of pressure as something he has to fight on general principal so as to avoid admitting he is wrong.

Though some may advise going straight to D, I would still do plan B first. It is still the best chance to save things.

I had a couple of bad days again, working on my assertiveness, getting meager results.
Exchanged couple of practical questions for fog talk ( I hope- cause if this is real then I should be done long time ago..)
I am still very confused - I am always attempting to discuss (POJA?) actions that affect both of us or the family BEFORE I do something.

Reality is that I probably should just DO what I think needs to be done and then later face and be ready to defend my actions or plainly stand by them.

He appears to be so deep in the fog that he sees you as the enemy even over every day, normal things. For sure I would recommend you just do things - and I wouldn't even discuss it with him. Whenever he complains (or yells, or rants, or whatever he does) just say "OK, whatever you think," and continue to do it the way you think it ought to be done. In other words, begin to ignore him.

This is the part that needs courage. Not the withstanding of attacks, but being sure that mine decision was the best one. When I have no doubts what I chose is right I have no problem dealing with the consequences or paying my price for a deal. But there are a lot of choices in front of me right now that I am still very unsure of. Big ones and smaller ones, financial, health, education related, it bothers me I have to make them with limited info, yet take all the price and consequences onto myself.

There is no way for you to be perfect - we can't do that in this life.
You will always have some doubt.

We can get approval in prayer, but it is difficult (and probably not necessary) to pray about every thing we do. Mostly you need to trust yourself. On day to day things, you do very good research, you care about the out come, and if he was supporting you, you would not worry about this one. I believe your doubts are because of his reactions - bad reactions that happen even when you do things right. Would it be enough to know you did the best you could do? Can anyone do any better than that?

Again, nothing new, SS really.
I do ask for His guidance, have not received it quite yet.

Gather all the information you can.
Think about it - let it go for a few days, and think again.
Make a decision.
Kneel down and tell him what you plan to do - ask him if it is right.
Wait for a feeling to come to you.
Doubt means to think on it more.
Strong positive feelings mean go ahead.

Sometimes we have such strong emotions about something that we are still unsure. In that case, go ahead with what you feel is the best course of action. Emotions can cloud the answers, but he understands, and extends help anyway.

He doesn't expect perfection from us here, he expects us to care, and to try. He expects improvement, and steady growth. He expects us to do the best we can.

You are not being punished for something, you are simply living life the only way you can. No one is exempt from the troubles of this world - the best person to ever live upon it was killed for his beliefs. You are being refined and purified. Trust him - that he won't let you down. Tell him when you are at the end of your rope, ask him for help when you need strength. Don't be afraid to tell him your feelings - he cares more than the rest of us do, and can do more for you.

Courage is doing what you know you need to do, even though you are afraid. Sue has it, and YOU have it. The proof is in your life - lived well each day even though you have doubts, and fears. And if you realize you make mistakes.........well, that is humility, and it is a good thing.

SS

<small>[ March 02, 2004, 03:26 PM: Message edited by: still seeking ]</small>

Hi guys,
no news to report on M front; however I did get a job interview today; certainly a brighter point in my life now. Geting the actual position would be so nice...
And I am very proud om my kids; both are doing very well in school and overall are very supportive in my job seeking and helpping around the house too.
I more and more tend to believe posters saying that Plan B is actually easier than the limbo I am in right now and that it actually serves a purpose one way or another to boot.

I'll let you know when the realistic/rational me overcomes the fearsome and emotional one.

Till then
FBOW

Hi FBOW

Just wanted to stop by and say hi, see how you are doing.

Plan B changes things - one way or the other.

You are quiet, so I figure it's one of these -

1. H quit A, every thing is fine at home now.

2. You don't know what to do.

3. You are too busy to do anything.

I would guess you are dealing with numbers 2 and three.
Do you expect to continue like you are now? Or do you want to gamble? Actually, in a way it's not a gamble. You fix things, or you end them - probably only two choices with plan b.

Say your prayers, read your bible, do what is right, in time you will know what to do.

Wishing you well.

SS

Hi FBOW,

This thread cronicles the feelings and plans of someone as they get closer and closer to plan B.

Going to plan B


Wishing you well.

SS

FBFW,

You probably have already, but please read my later posts to Sue....my advice to you would not be substantially different. Plan A has failed...and now, you must either choose to go to Plan B or try a strategy completely different from MB because the concepts here cannot be "adapted" and still be expected to work as they should. There comes a point in fact, especially with Plan A where if you continue, it not only doesn't do any good...it actually is very damaging....creating an environment and destructive patterns where one spouse gives and gives and the other takes and takes.

When I counseled with Steve Harley....he made this interesting comment to me about Plan A. He said that women and men react differently to Plan A. When you stop hurting a woman, and fill her needs....she almost always wants to reciprocate. When you do the same thing to a man....he almost always wants MORE. That is one of the specific reasons that Plan A has a time limit...and it's shorter for women than men. 3 months for women, six for men. Can you vary that a little to adjust to your sitch and style and still get results?...sure you can. Can you vary it alot and still get results? Practically NEVER....because once there is a pattern of no reciprocity and the boundaries are still not there....it reinforces that you can be treated badly and you will stay.

At some point chere....I hope with all my heart that you get to the point where you are LESS afraid of losing a husband that won't invest in this marriage....than you are of going on the way you are. If you do....perhaps then...you will begin to make some choices that may actually be able to break this stalemate. Until then, expect more of the same limbo that is killing your happiness.

You deserve better. There is no Plan A and a half. And really....you are no longer in Plan A anyway....Plan A is nothing like you are doing except that it involves stopping LBs and filling needs. You have moved out of Plan A into the realm of enabling. And when you have no love left for you spouse...chances are...one of the other of you will simply leave anyway. The risk of your marriage ending actually becomes higher not lower than if you moved to Plan B...but I know you don't believe that.

I get so very discouraged sometimes when I find a whole supportive group of loving folks who band together to support a dysfunctional strategy. I would so love to see all of you truly help each other to break this cycle of marital "existence" so that you have some hope of reaching marital happiness. How long will you try one thing, before accepting that it is not a viable plan and just try something new? I don't care if that's Plan B or if you find another marriage plan by another respected psychologist. All of you seem to believe that you are so disposable that if you challenged this....your husbands would leave you. There are those of us here who believe that you are extremely lovable, unforgettable, worthy of more. And if this man...this single man cannot or will not see that...you will still live, flourish and find a more worthy love. Hopefully, they will wake up and see your worth as we do....but if they don't...you are still better off with your dignity and inner power intact.

Life is simply too short to waste a single day of it. This day...you will only have once...and then it is gone forever.

Star,
thank you.
Of course after following Sue's thread I knew your honest opinion and advice would be just what you posted to me. I cannot disagree with yours. And yes deep down I understand there is no Plan A and 1/2. Either you follow the recipe or the outcome might be a total disaster.
I am just so very scared, mainly because I'm aware of all possible outcomes of Plan B. My decision would be so much easier I were 100% sure this is the best step I can make, for me and the kids, regardless of plan B outcome. When you look from the oustide, it must seem this way, there is really little left, even less than Sue has, i.e. no sometime niceties, much less family involvement, no phone calls, no talk, nada. Gentle prodding of the kids leads me to believe they would stay with me and though very sad, kind would accept whatever arrangements we'll make.

I looked into 180 techniques earlier, about a year ago. Those were more to grab H attention though in my opinion other than long term solutions. POJA and 4 rules make much more sense to me. The counseling I had was geraedd more toward protect yourself if it comes to D, much less offering practical ideas.
The Anti-D helped me to function at work.

As SS advises me, I pray and pray for guidance, as it's up to me only to decide.

Thank you Star*fish, I will post what I've done.
On the practical side - do you request - or attach legal papers for separation with a Plan B letter?

I know some folks here separate "privately" with just some understanding re visitation and child support. Doesn't this complicate things more - or the price in LB you pay for requesting legal separation is not worth it?
What is your opinion on that?

I wish I could separate emotional trust from financial trust - it doesn't seem possible right now.

I am going grocery shopping with my D now. I will be checking both threads later. I will shorten my plan B letter and translate and post it as well.
FBOW

Star,
thank you.

And thank you for reading it with the knowledge that they are things that both hurt me to say...but I cannot escape from saying if I want to meet my responsibility of offering you my best.

Of course after following Sue's thread I knew your honest opinion and advice would be just what you posted to me. I cannot disagree with yours. And yes deep down I understand there is no Plan A and 1/2. Either you follow the recipe or the outcome might be a total disaster.

The truth is that even if you follow it to the letter, the outcome for any of these plans can be a complete disaster. There are no guarantees that every marriage can be saved....nor is there a marital strategy that claims to save all marriages. What I have observed, and what empirical evidence supports is that the those people who follow these concepts as closely as possible...do have the greatest odds of success. I also know this....that sometimes, perserverance alone is just not enough. And when something has proven not to work...I remember that funny saying about how "the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting DIFFERENT results." <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I am just so very scared, mainly because I'm aware of all possible outcomes of Plan B.

How are the possible outcomes for Plan B ANY different from the possible outcomes for Plan A??? Think about it....what are the possible outcomes for Plan A?: 1) reconciliation and end to the affair 2) No change 3)Divorce. Those are the exact same possible outcomes for either of them. The only difference with Plan B...is change. Change is scary sometimes chere...but how scary is no change?

My decision would be so much easier I were 100% sure this is the best step I can make, for me and the kids, regardless of plan B outcome.

What reassurance do you have that Plan A is the best step chere? None. All of these steps have risk versus reward ratios. Plan B's risk is higher...BECAUSE....the marriage has been so compromised already by the time that it's implemented the marriage is already at more risk....and NOT because it's much riskier than Plan A. Either way....possible outcomes are the same.

When you look from the oustide, it must seem this way, there is really little left, even less than Sue has, i.e. no sometime niceties, much less family involvement, no phone calls, no talk, nada. Gentle prodding of the kids leads me to believe they would stay with me and though very sad, kind would accept whatever arrangements we'll make.

When I look from the outside...I try not to make assumptions....but results/or no results over time tell a story too, and make certain observations obvious to anyone...probably even you.

I looked into 180 techniques earlier, about a year ago. Those were more to grab H attention though in my opinion other than long term solutions.

Yes...the 180 is to stop the divorce, and not to build the marriage. The goal is not that different from Plan A because the idea is to get the WS into a frame of mind where they are willing to implement marriage building once they recommit to the marriage.

POJA and 4 rules make much more sense to me.

These of course are marriage building techniques that cannot begin to be implemented until an affair/neglect/abuse is over and recommitment to the marriage occurs.

The counseling I had was geraedd more toward protect yourself if it comes to D, much less offering practical ideas.
The Anti-D helped me to function at work.

ICs help individuals....marriage coaching treats three entities...the two individuals AND the marriage. What is exclusively "good" for an individual does NOT make it good for a marriage. Those things must be negotiated and ballanced in a way that takes both partners feelings into account.

As SS advises me, I pray and pray for guidance, as it's up to me only to decide.

Did it ever occur to you that perhaps he has guided people TO you? Guided you to this place with these people? I remember a funny joke about a man who was stranded in a flood on a roof. First a policeman tried to evacuate him, then a man in a boat, finally a helicopter...but each time he turned them down and saying "God will provide for me!". When he drowned and faced God in heaven...he asked "God why didn't you listen to my prayers? Why did you forsake me?" And God answered "I sent the cops, a boat and helicopter!!!" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Thank you Star*fish, I will post what I've done.
On the practical side - do you request - or attach legal papers for separation with a Plan B letter?

Plan B and legal separation are two COMPLETELY separate issues. Do not lump them together. Legal separation is to ensure that you are not financially destitute and that you have the means to support yourself and children. Filing for legal separation does not compel you to file for divorce. The purpose is to protect you.

Plan B is a effort to save your marriage and express your love for your spouse and your willingness to be a good partner, protect your love for your spouse, and to help them understand that the legal separation does NOT mean that you wish to end the marriage. It talks about your desire to plan a future once the obstacles to your marriage can be removed.

I know some folks here separate "privately" with just some understanding re visitation and child support. Doesn't this complicate things more - or the price in LB you pay for requesting legal separation is not worth it?
What is your opinion on that?

If you feel as though you can come to a fair and reasonable financial agreement without legal entities involved...by all means...do so!!! Do you believe you can? Love busters and affair ending strategies are separate things. One is uneccessary and hurtful....the other is completely necessary in order to be married.

I wish I could separate emotional trust from financial trust - it doesn't seem possible right now.

I know <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

I am going grocery shopping with my D now. I will be checking both threads later. I will shorten my plan B letter and translate and post it as well.
FBOW

((((((((((((((FBFW))))))))))))))))

<small>[ May 31, 2004, 01:50 PM: Message edited by: star*fish ]</small>

I'm back home. Back to thinking all again in my head.
I know H will be away for a week again starting next Sat.
I do believe I can have separation of assests agreement in mine state. I checked the self-help forms court website few months back. My understanding is you have to live apart otherwise it's automatically canceled if you do move back together.
I cannot file for DV. Due to my catholic faith. I am not very devouted church member but this one does matter to me. I can only consider separation with no intention ever to date or remarry ( which right know is the last thing I want b/c I still love my H).
He's back home now talking to kids downstairs.
And yes I do believe this site and the friend I made here both on and offline were a Godsend really.
Sorry for the awkward spelling and such in previous posts - was typing fast and in very emotional state. Which is kind of happening again, so I better go.
Will be back later.
FBOW

Hi FBOW,

I wish things were different for you, but no matter how much I wish, things are what they are, and not otherwise. It is up to you to look at the facts, and make your decisions based on the truth.

(The following statements are based on my observations from reading on MB over the last few years.)

When affairs first begin, most of the WS's feel guilty. Oh, many of them lie, hide things, and act as though they are doing nothing wrong, but they feel guilty, and when talked to, many of them express a desire to change, and recommit to their marriage. As time (and the affair) go on, their conscience becomes dulled, and they change their point of view. I am going to list some of the things they do, not always in this order, but these usually elements of the change that takes place over time if the A does not end.

1. They say the A will end, and they may even believe that, but they continue anyway.

2. They quit saying the A will end, and just tell the BS to mind their own business. They demand their "privacy" and tell the BS they need their "freedom." No one can tell them what to do, or how to do it - and if anyone does, they are trying to "control" the WS.

3. In the beginning the WS usually continues to spend time with the children. They sometimes give the children the idea that something is wrong with the BS. The BS is nosy, won't mind their own business, and wants to control the WS. Sometimes the WS lets on that the BS is crazy, and abnormal.

4. The WS begins to loose their connection with the children. At first this means they don't spend as much time with them. Then they kind of ignore them, and last, they won't help with their care. Often they won't help with medical decisions, or even basic care and protection. It interferes with their "freedom."

5. At first the BS says (or acts like) they "would never do anything to take away from the financial care and support of my family." The first signs that this is a lie, is usually receipts for motels, dinners for two, and gifts. This is followed by large sums of money not accounted for, and when asked they say: " that is none of your business." Often the WS opens a separate account, and stops putting money in the joint account. Sometimes they continue to help pay the bills, sometimes they leave the BS to figure out how to do it all by themselves.

Often the WS leaves the BS and stops all form of FS unless it is mandated by the courts.

6. Usually the WS hides their time with the OP in the beginning, then they spend time with them openly and won't talk about their time at all. Sometimes the WS will become brazen about it, and refuse to discuss where they are going, or what they are doing with the BS. This can extend into every part of their life - until they refuse to discuss anything at all. Sometimes they leave in the end, sometimes they continue for a long time - having the cake and eating it too, as we often hear on MB.

FBOW, if I understand things correctly, your H has gone to the extreme on every one of these now, FS being the last. I think one of your fears has been FS, and what you would do. My belief is that you need to protect yourself legally NOW, because it could get much worse. Why would you trust someone with the finances that you cannot trust with ANYTHING ELSE AT ALL.

I don't know all the things that have happened lately with your M. Since last fall you have been more vague about things your H has been doing. As I think about it, and having written to you for quite some time, that probably means things are a lot worse, in all the areas I have listed. I am not sure of that, but it would fit with what usually happens with ongoing A's.

I think I would proceed with a legal separation first. I would recommend you consult a lawyer and have assets frozen if necessary. I believe this is something that needs to be done AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. I have seen many of the WS's take assets out of joint accounts, move CD's, sell or transfer stocks, and then claim those assets never existed. It is very difficult to find them after they are gone, and if they are moved out of the country, it can be impossible to get them back. If I were you, I would move to freeze these assets very quickly. If the home is in his name only, you should seek advice on what to do with that also.

In this case, I do not recommend you get advice, and think about it, I would just do what your lawyer recommends as quickly as you find things out.

After you protect yourself legally it may change where one of you live - it may change how he interacts with you - all of you. Remember this is not your fault. When a thief remains at large, they are often difficult to spot walking down the street - they try to act as normal as possible. Sometimes when they are spotted and arrest is attempted they resist violently. This does not mean they should be left alone, and it IS NOT the fault of the arresting officers. You need to protect yourself, and your children, and his reaction does not matter while you are doing it - do it anyway.

I hope you are not afraid of this - one need never be afraid of doing what is right. I understand you worry about getting answers to prayer. There have been times when I have been given no answer. I believe it is because I had it in my heart to do it the right way, and he was letting me learn to make decisions on my own. If you don't think you have an answer, do the best you can. No one can do better than that - and if he withholds an answer, you will not be called to task for what you decide............he is more fair than anyone earthly can be.

I think if you (for self protection - emotionally) need to do plan B first, you ought to move, do the letter, then have all your communication go through the lawyer as needed for the separation.

If you can wait to do the plan B letter, then get the legal separation finished, see what happens (as far as him moving,) , and go to plan B. If will be easier to do if you are living apart from each other, and that may very well happen as a result of the legal work.

You need to know this is not your fault - perhaps there were problems with your M, but there is no excuse for an A, for refusing to support your family, for abandoning them. It is up to you to cope with what he has done as best you can - use your strength for doing the work, not for berating yourself for not doing better.

SS

Incredible post SS. FBFW...please listen to our friend SS...you can hear the truth as well as compassion in his words.

Hi,
I am here, lurking.
Please pray. For my actions done and words said and that my H sees thru them. That he sees the love for him and commitment to M and the frustration with passing time.
Change is scary.
I'll post more when I comprehend the whole thread of last seven days events. Very private unexpected drama causing me to rethink and retime my actions.

I am clinging to hope and love so desperately.
Attempted POJA discussion Sat failed completely.
Careful protection attempt backfired today. How badly to be seen.
One more example that even the closest following of recipe can have accidental and totally unplanned side effects.
What remains to me is to pray and hope that whatever transpires will be for better EVENTUALLY.

FBOW

Now is the time to Trust in God. You have done your part as best you can.

As I said, no one can do better than their best. Please do not be afraid. What will be, will be.

Gird up your loins, fresh courage take.
Our God will never us forsake,
And soon we'll have this tale to tell -
All is well, all is well.

Be strong.

Our family will pray for yours - and for you especially.

SS

FBOW,
Trying to give you some strength, but not sure as to the best way. I understand things have been rough for you lately, as you have comptemplated going to plan B. Don't let life get to you, it's all part of the experiance. Someday the test will end, until then, hold on and keep working on things.

I best get some sleep, need to be at work by 6 tomorrow. Hope things are OK with your family.

SS

How is it going?