She's probably happily moved on from this upheaval in her life.

Hi Sue with Hope, MC is currently staying at her mother-in-laws while they wait to close on the new house. I don't know if her computer is hooked up there, and I do know she has little privacy so you may not hear from her for a little while. She's doing OK considering. Good luck to you and thanks for your concern.

Hi Bigsister

Thanks for the update. If you get back on line, when do they close? I thought that was supposed to be last month, or did I get that wrong?

As long as everything goes okay, that is all she needs.

I'll keep checking in.

To Sue-with-hope:

PQstill is sort of in the same position as you are in GQII. I thought you might have a few helpful ideas for each other.

Man, you have just won the "I can beat your story contest". I know how incredibly betrayed you feel. My story was him and my BF, but to have your frickin' sister betray you, enough. She is a very screwed up person who you need to stay as far away from as you can.

What issues she may have with you from the past and the present is NO reason to behave as she did.

What a loser! It must be so hard to realize you can't even trust your own family member, but face it... she is obviously desparate to prove her attractiveness to you and I think, you must be the prettier one because of her actions.

She was probably drinking or partying and all the old tapes came back to her and she had to prove her stuff without thinking of the consequences.

LOSER.

Don't ever let her come to you proclaiming "I'm so sorry, I didn't know what I was doing". It's all so classic. In the old days, it would be stealing a kiss. In these days, well, you know...

Again ... this to me is an unforgiveable offense to you. And HE is just as guilty too, but the anger is stronger with her.

Takes two to tango... don't give your H so much leeway. He's a loser too. And I don't want to hear, "she came on to me, I was helpless." Bull**** (scuze nmy French, but all these losers making such lame excuses for their behavior makes me want to kick them in their smug butts).

Hi Relate,

I will check out PQII.

Hi MC,

Thought I'd see if you are settled in your new home. Can't wait to hear about it.

That was very nice of your sister to update you thread that you are waiting to close.

Take care. Waiting to hear from you

Sue -- I'm back!!! We finally closed on our house Oct. 31... but we have had so much work to do! We just moved in last Wednesday!

Things had really calmed down the last couple of months... untill now... "she" decided things were going to well, and has decided to start more trouble! She had other plans for Thanksgiving, which did not include going to my mothers, so my H and I went with our kids... well, "she" decided to call my mother that morning to ask her if my H would be there, when my mom said yes, she started crying and saying that my mom was betraying her... needless to say, she ruined my mothers day!!! (clasic move for her!!!)

THEN she tricked my parents into visiting her by asking them to see the kids... when my parents got there, the kids were NOT there.. "she" and her H wanted to corner my parents with all kinds of bad stuff about my H... saying crap like "We have learned a lot of other bad things about (my H)", and "We're not done yet"

I am so sick of this!!! We moved far away from her... but now her lazy [censored] H won't work because he says "I'm afraid that (my H) will do something bad to ("her")"... GIVE ME A F'ING BREAK!!! We are no where near them, and have no interest in their lives!!!

Yesterday my mom told me that "she" said she loves me and is sooooooo worried about me, so I said "really... have her call me on my cell phone so she can tell me herself, I would love to hear what she has to say!".... needless to say, I have heard NOTHING (big shock!!!)

I don't know what else to do!!!

What a way to come back here... huh?

Sue, I hope you are doing well... I have thought of you often since I've been away!

-mc

Hi MC,

Glad you are moved in. You can have Christmas in your new house. Sort of like starting over.

Well, at least for a short while you had a break from her and her garbage. What does your parents say to her when she starts all of this.

It sounds to me like she is trying to control them. I know, if I would have pulled a stunt like she did, my mother would have ripped me a new you know what. She would not have tolerated it, and would have told me I am sick and in need of help.

Just tell yourself, excuses, excuses, excuses. That is all it is. Lame excuses. He could work. They want to know where you live. You see, you are doing what you can to change things. Beside, how would they know anything about your H? They will have to go away eventually. I'm sorry she ruined your mom's thanksgiving. However, your mom has the control over that. She is trying to play your mom, because she can. Eventually, you mom will tire of it and take her power back. It will take along time. Moms are very patient with their children's antics.

Here is a thought. You really don't need to hear this. I know you family means well. You are trying to start over. Rebuild/build a new life with your H and kids. If your family feels they need to repeat what you sister says, could they just document it in a notebook, sort of like a journal. When you feel like it, you will read it. This way, they can feel like they did their part, and you can read it when and if you want to. Ask them to tell you the stuff they feel is important, such as if they think you, your H or the kids are in harms way.

By the way, what happened with the Sheriff's stuff. I assume, nothing, since you didn't comment on it.

Sue -- Nothing from the sherrifs in MONTHS!!! I am just so sick of it all! "She" won't stop all her crap!!! All "she" can do is make up "stories" about my H... with no proof... I DARE her to keep it up... I have PROOF that she is full of sh*i.

I feel sorry for her H... I know he loves her, but she is really treating him like crap! He claims he can't work out of fear that my H will cause "her" harm (LAUGH!!!), but he is ok with her going to work... (oh, I should mention one of her OM works with her..) Even when they tricked my parents into going over... "she" would not talk... she made her H do all the talking!!! He is like a pathetic little puppet on her string!!! How does a woman get this kind of total control over her H??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

I know I am kind of babbling... I have sooooo many thoughts going through my head, I can't keep it all straight!!!

Basically the bottom line is:
- She is sticking to her "claim"
- Her H won't get a job
- She is still working with an OM
- my mother is a wreck
- I am sick to my stomach, and can't take much more.
- we have not heard anything else from the sherrifs

I wanted to write her a letter, but have been advised against it by my brother (the cop). He is afraid she will try to use it against me... I asked for her to call me... of course she did NOT...

What else can I do???? I try to just move on, but she keeps on tearing the wounds open.... How can I ever get over this???

By the way... H and I are still in therapy, and it is going well... but I can feel myself sliding back a little... just a little...

-mcnyh

Hi MC,

Don't slide backwards. You have what most here don't. A H who is in remorse. A H who realized he was wrong and wants to make it right.

It sounds like your family is starting to see that your sister is trying to cause problems.

I wonder why she picked your H and not Bigsister's H. And no, I don't want to see that happen. Just curious.

Did her H quit his job, because of this? or did he not have work and is using this as an excuse to not look for work. Major difference.

MC, you and your H, need to stay strong together and you will get through this.

How is this making your mom a wreck? Is this something that she should step back from. She needs to look out for herself. I know she loves both of you. (Mother's love) But, she really needs to tell your bad sister that she is not getting involved.

Here is my take on it. Your sister still has an audiance. Your mom. She knows your mom will not turn her away. As long as she can keep an audiance going on these, she will try to feed it. I am assuming that she does not bother bigsister or your cop brother - correct?

Things will get better. You have your new home to make your own. You moved in, just in time to celebrate Christmas there. Badsister does not know where you live. The only way she can get to you is through you mom. How is your dad over this? It sounds like the person most effected by this of your parents is mom.

You take care

Sue - As always, you are right! "she" won't talk to anyone except my mom. The reason my father does not get involved is because he has alzheimers (not sure about the spelling), so he really does not know what is going on. I worry about my mom because she has heart disease, high blood pressure, and diabetes! It would kill me if all the stress my "sister" is creating caused my mom to have a heart attack!!!

"her" H lost his job BEFORE any of this came out!!! And MY H actually got him another job after (although her H does not know this)!!! Her H chose to quit this other job! I think it was because he was afraid she would cheat some more... so he wants to keep an eye on her, but "she" has him so f'd up, I don't think he could ever admit that! He is telling people that he can't work so that he can protect "her"!!! (yet it is ok for "her" to go to work, and go out with "her" friends, and take my mom x-mas shopping...etc...)

It is not fair that "she" tells my mom that she is betraying her by allowing my H in her house.... I feel betrayed that my mom would even listen to her bull!!!

We had made soooooo much progress in the last few months!! My H was invited to Thanksgiving at my mothers, my mom has been giving my H hugs when we leave her house from visits... even bigsister gave him a hug and kiss!!!(even though I know it was still a little uncomfortable for her), my youngest brother even talked to him!!! (still having problems with my middle brother though...) NOW, I know my mother is confused again!!!! I know she does not believe "her", but "she" keeps messing with my moms head!!! What's the old saying... "two steps forward, one step back"???

I know that time will bring out the truth... but it is taking MUCH longer that I thought it would!!!

As for me and my H... we could not be doing better. He is devoted to me and our girls, and I don't question that! I just want the wounds to heal, and they won't as long as the b*tch keeps up with her crap!!! I am tired of her reminding me of what she did to me!!! I am tired of the images I can't get rid of... I'm just tired!!! I love my H more that anything in the world (except my girls), and I will continue doing whatever I have to do to make our M the best it can be!!!

I just look forward to the day she admits her part, then I can move on to forgiving her for all of this!!! (not that she wants my forgiveness, but it will help me!!!)

I am so thankful that you are still posting here... You are the one here who keeps me sane!!! And I am sorry if I seem selfish, I know you are going through hell... and here I am whining about my life... I hope that things are going ok for you with your H, and I hope you are kicking butt in school!!! Just know that I am thinking of you often!!!

Thank you !
-mcnyh

Hi MC,

You are not being selfish. To want to be happy is not selfish. To want to keep from bouncing off the walls is not selfish, (unless you put on one of those velcro suits and purposely ran towards the wall. Some bounced and some stuck LOL <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Anyway, your mom needs to be alot selfish with herself and think of her health. Your sister adding extra stress in her life is not helping.

You cannot control you mom, but she needs to put bad sister in her place, and let her know that she loves all her children, and she will isolate one to make her happy. Your mom did not betray her. She is just trying to manipulate things- Whats new????.

It is your mom's home, and it is her decision as to who comes in and does not come in. She is disrespecting you mom by trying to control her.

Do you really think she will admit it? Has she ever admitted when she was wrong?

If your badsister's H wants to not work, and use the excuse that he is protecting her, well, let him. It is their lost income, he is hurting himself and making himself look the fool.

The wounds will heal, even with her crap. It will just take longer. Sorry <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> .

I know, not what you wanted to hear.

Things are going better. Especially in the last week or two. I'm surprised, pleasantly. My H right now is being the model H, so I will enjoy it while I have it. We are going to a christmas party next week. I'm so looking forward to it. We have not gone to this party in 4 years. I always had fun at them in the past. So if you know how I can lose 60 pounds before next Friday pass along the secret. _just kidding, I know impossibility when I see it.. I hoping for one size at least)

Almost ready for Christmas? I know we are. My oldest will be so surprised. Last summer he kept after me for him to have golf lessions. He wants to learn so he can go golfing with dad. He is getting a set of Jr. golf clubs and a certificate for golf lessons. I'm going to make the certificate since I could not buy the golf lessons now. A little spendy, but the way I look at it, if it will help him and his dad bond, it will be worth it. My sister owed me some $$ because I bailed her out, so she paid for them to pay me back.

My D is into Barbie, so I got her Rapunzel. She also wants the prince, so I have been dropping tons of hints around. My H gave me my first diamond ring for our anniversary, which is in a couple of weeks.

I don't know if I will be on much over the next week. If I am not, I did not leave. Finals are the 16th and 18th. Then a much needed break.

Hi MC,

How is it going? Already for Christmas? Girls excited? My 4 year old keeps asking if she can open one gift, "just one, pleeeeeeaaassss", with her charming how can you tell me "no" grin.

The boys, they don't ask, they know the answer.

Sue -- WOW... ok, like moving into a new house isn't enough stress... add in my psycho "sister", Christmas shopping, oh yeah... now my H is in the hospital!!!!! He finished his radiation at the end of September, his leg was gross and red and peeling... Well, the swelling wouldn't go down, and it started turning dark red... he was admitted to the hospital tonight... they think it is some kind of infection, and they are planning on pumping him full of antibiotics....

I would cry, but I am too tired... will my life ever go back to normal... not that I would even know "normal" if it bit me in the <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I hope your day is going better than mine!!!

I will keep you posted!

-mcnyh

MC,

A huge <<<<<<HUGGGGGGGG>>>>>> for you. You need it.

I hope and pray that your H is out of the hospital soon. You sure do have alot going on. Take care of what you can. Is there any family who can and will help you out. You need a break for you so you don't burn out.

Is psycho sister still acting up?

Hi MC,

Just want to say Merry Christmas

Hi MC

Wishing you a happy New year. May 2003 bring you better happiness than 2002

How is your H doing?

Hi MC,

All unpacked? I hoped you survived the holidays and had an uneventful one.

When you get a chance, if you have any words of wisdom for IIHOO, will you please pass it on. I will include the link to her thread.

She caught H and sister kissing verh passionately.

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=29;t=002287

Sue -- the holidays went by fine. (so far) My H and I (and of course the kids) went to my moms for x-mas eve, and things went well... even my one brother (who is still being bull-headed) was civil to my H, to include a hand shake at the end of the night (my H offered his hand first)

Luckily "she" was not there. "she" made other plans with my mom for x-mas day!

Last night I had my H's family over for dinner, and we had a good time.

By the way, I ventured over to the thread you mentioned... ouch! Don't I know her pain!!!

As far as my "sister" goes, I am still afraid that she is not done with us yet. She has been sucking up to my mom BIG TIME!!! I think there is more yet to come!!!

I wanted to write her a letter, but have been advised against it by everyone in my family... I just wanted to let her know that I am fine, and her lies will not destroy me. I was also going to mention that I don't hate her for the A, because I know in my heart she is mentally ill.

I have sooooooo many things I want to say to her!!! I think I mentioned before, I gave her an opportunity to contact me (on my cell phone) since she claimes to be so concerned about me, and loves me soooo much! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> , and of course I heard NOTHING from her! I am so fed up with her crap! I am sooo tired of living this way! Today "she" will be a my mothers for dinner, and I can only imagine what stunt she will pull this time!!! (one good thing though, my brother, the cop, will be there too... so if she does start anything, he will be there to put a stop to it!)

I wonder if I will ever be able to fully recover from this.

I hope your holidays were great!

mc