Hi Everyone:<p>What do you think? Don't we need a chat room. Sometimes I am up late at night and need to talk to someone. A chat room would be great! What do you think. wu

<p>[ June 19, 2002: Message edited by: bravewarrior ]</p>

Brave:<p>That is so sweet of you. We can chat if you like? send me email at wucus@hotmail.com. Do you have msn? wu

<p>[ June 19, 2002: Message edited by: bravewarrior ]</p>

The reason chat rooms are a very bad idea is many affairs start this way. The Harleys agree with this and recommend very highly against them.<p>bravewarrior,
WW married 13 years, 1 child
online affair 2/01-11/01
continued contact 11/01-4/02
feeling guilty and depressed
in recovery

and now you want to chat online? Aren't you "in recovery" and "remorseful?"

<p>[ June 19, 2002: Message edited by: bravewarrior ]</p>

Sorry Brave:<p>Chris is right. Bad idea. No chat room for us. wu

If you post here, then everything is in the open for all to see & it is far less likely for people to get "attached" to someone else.

<p>[ June 19, 2002: Message edited by: bravewarrior ]</p>

Wucus -
I thought you were female! [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] I was wondering how you're doing? I've noticed lots of people chat on their own thread late it night - it takes longer, but like Chris said - it's all out in front where we can all see what y'll are saying to each other - but you can still have some nice chats w anyone else online at the same time - GQII has more happening on it and lots of MB veterans check out all forums, so you'll run into your old friends there, too. Hope you're OK.
Odile

I like the immediate real time response/exchange in chat.
If you have to post here (instead of chat), it gives you a few moments to look at/review what you are saying. Using MB principles, we are learning to "look before we leap" and understand what the other person is saying and what is coming out and how it may affect the other person. This is what we need to do with our spouses. It can't hurt to practice it here in the forums.<p>Chat does not give you the option to do this since it is real time.<p>How about a multi person chat from MB--that bad also?
What if only 2 people are around wanting to chat? Then others will not see what is going on/being said.<p>If it was to be a monitored chat, then someone would have to sit and watch everything which is being said. Ideally, this should be a 3rd party who has no interest in the chat except for the monitoring.<p>MB forums are self monitoring (ie. everyone else keeps you honest)<p>I might get suckered into another EA like before, though I think I know better now... I thought it harmless still. I
Remember. There are things which could lead to an affair and things which have the appearance of it. If it even seems remotely possible that this could happen, then don't do it. Look at it from the bs point of view.

Hi Odile:<p>Just to set the record straight-I am female.lol Anyway, I am doing fine. I keep losing my thread here though so I just come around to read what others are saying. Fog lifting here. I went off the MB stuff and just told my WS to end it or I walk. That tact worked. A changed man.lol Loves me, loves me, loves me, ha, ha. Now he's eating himself up with guilt and doesn't want me to be so nice. Just be yourself he says. Well this is the new me. Learned a few things from the experience. Anyway, Brave, I am woman hear me roar!!!!!. Take care all. wu.

Dear Wucus,
Glad to hear you are doing well - I think if I could support myself and both boys, I'd be tempted to do the same - at Easter I told him it was her or me and I wanted him to leave - that was when he went into counselling - she went back to France at end of May and is now living with her BF - she's 21 and been with him since she was 16 - her BF is 27 and works in a factory - she swears she loves him, but everyone else thinks they are a real mis-match brain-wise - I think if she's so happy with BF, how come the chat with my H every day while she was here - she told my friend that she "had a special friend who was like her alter-ego" (gag me with a fork). So now "the Veela" as I call her (Harry Potter book 4) is out of the way, but they could still be chatting on-line - would have to put Spector on the computer to find out. H is in counselling and is a LOT more loving - has been explosively angry to the point of near violence when questioned - like a caged lion. Fog effect? Or his own problems? Both I think - just hanging tight here for a little while and seeing if counselling brings any results.<p>Glad you roared and it worked! Have a GRRRREAT day!
Odile

Warning, warning! A chat room may seem to be a great idea.... My WH met the OW online. There can be a real problem revealing your 'deep issues' to a member of the opposite sex; it establishes a sense of intimacy. Be very, very careful with this one. Think long and hard.

Good to hear from you Odile:<p>Something wonderful happened today! Husband sent a no contact letter without my asking. Just out of the blue. talk soon. wu

Great news, wucus - great news - that's what I dream about - I just posted on my own thread over on GQII - to spy or not to spy? - maybe if you have a minute you could tell me if I screwed up. I'm so pissed off at this point - I'm sick of being kissed and hugged (I should complain about this? I know I know) when it's so obvious he can't get HER off his mind. The thing is, until he comes forward of his own accord, like your H has finally done, I'm just not convinced it's not still going on on-line and by phone - it's behind my back again, now that I'm not spying. How do I know. I just feel like I'm being used and lied to.<p>Odile