I don't know what to think or feel anymore. Sometimes I just wish I would hear one way or the other. H wants the divorce and I've lost hope. I haven't heard from him and I don't think I'm going to. Is this normal? I can't work on my marriage if I don't talk to him. I know I should work on me, but I'm losing faith and I feel lost and lonely.

Hi studentwife-<P>You may feel lonely, but you are not alone. "The night is darkest just before the dawn". You will be happy again, you will love again, your life will be whole again. Hang in there. If your H wants to divorce you, he'll have to contact you at some point, even if it's through an attorney. You will hear from him again, but it may not be what you're hoping to hear - ready yourself for that, take good care of yourself. If you had a broken leg, you'd rest, and accept help from family and friends to have time to heal. You have a broken heart, so let yourself rest and be helped. You'll be in my prayers, and someday soon the sun will come out.

It looks like we joined at the same time.<P>I read your profile, were you the betrayer or was your H?<P>How long has it been since you heard from him?<P>Do you want a divorce?<P>I wish I had a majic wand that would take away our pain.Somthing that has kept me going through all of this is a sign I saw at a local church it said:Pain is inevitable; misery is a choice.<P>That was God telling me I was going to be ok no matter what.<P>Me personaly I don't want a divorce, if my W does she will have to file. I believe It will never get that far. God will work his miracle. I just have to surrender, which is very hard to do, it does get easier the more I do it.<P>Keep posting.<P>I liked the poem on your other thread.<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

WilliamJ - H is the betrayer. He has found someone who shows him just how badly he was treated and she gives him all the things he wanted and never got from me. I just wish I knew what that was. To answer your question, I DO NOT WANT A DIVORCE!!! He will have to file. I'm just in a bad place right now. I have two finals tomorrow and one on Thursday and I can't concentrate. I haven't heard his voice or seen him in 5.5 weeks. The last contact I had was an e-mail last week (MON) that confirmed that he wants 'this' divorce and he has found someone. He just hopes I will be civil and respect his wishes. I love him and want our marriage to work, but feel like after what he has said, I am only diluding myself to think that we still have a chance. It is amazing how badly a person can want something and how helpless it can make them feel to not know how to get it or not to have any control. I find myself reading posts on MB trying desperately to find answers and hope. <BR>I also have the 'friend' problem, where most of them say - just file and get it over with. I just can't and won't do that, not now. Thanks for being here for me! I appreciate the support from this site and all the people that understand how I feel and what I am going through.

For tonight, just get through it. Try very hard to concentrate on your finals. My h went over 4 weeks and I didn't even know where he was. He's talked divorce, reconciling, divorce again. <P>You never know what could happen. Until HE files. And even after that. It's a long hard road, but you CAN get through this. And you're right, don't listen to friends who aren't living your life. Just appreciate that they care for you and thank them for that.<P>You be strong, ok? Just take it moment by moment.<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{studentwife}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>Lori