I found out March 1st, 2002. It was the worst experience of my life so far. I have been married for 7 years and have 2 children. My husband slept with a 21 year old girl that he works with when I was out of state attending my niece's birth back in Jan of 2002. Everything was so weird when I got back. Then he told me and my life turned upside down. He wanted a divorce and to leave, but we went to counseling and decided to work things out. He felt so guilty and didn't think that I could forgive him and that’s why he said he wanted a divorce. I did forgive him. Everything was getting better until he went out of town for two weeks in June. Yesterday, I found out that he slept with some random girl while he was gone and he didn't even know her name. I also found out that he is still talking to the first girl. She recently told her fiancé about what happened back in January and I guess he is trying to be a "friend" and help her through her hard time... WHATEVER!! I don't think I should have to stay in a fake marriage. I do not want a divorce. I want a real marriage with real commitment. Sometimes I think that he wants me to leave so that it won't be his fault our marriage broke up. I don't know what to do... I don't know what to think at this point. He says he loves me and that he loves to have sex with me, but that he is addicted to sex and masturbation and doesn’t think he can turn any offer down. I have a counseling session Monday for me and only me. What kind of self-esteem problem do I have if I forgive him a second time knowing that it could happen again at any time? I am lost right now.

Welcome beyondconfused...

There is a post of general welcome I wish to share with you... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

It has a lot of quick links to many of the most important MB sites...
Click here ==> General Welcome for All New Builders(Newbies)

About your post...

Many have been where you are at...

Do start on a Plan A...
Check out the post Plan A - 101 (2nd ed.).

There needs to be a commitment by your H to address his sexual addiction.
Like drugs/alcohol...
...it will destroy him... and eventually you.

When you see your counselor...
...get a referal for him (sexual treatment)!

In the mean time...
Plan A...
...to make you a better person...
...and know that you've done everything to save your marriage.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Jim / NSR

Hey there,

I can very much relate to your situation and I just wanted to recommend that you take the SA issue seriously. Sounds like my H was/is deeper into the SA stuff than yours is, but it is progressive and if it isn't addressed, I know that I could not trust again.

The one-night-stands, and the compulsive mastubation is all part of it. There's much worse too.

Look into it and if you need some help, I can point you in the right direction.

Best Wishes,
Spy Wife