Ifound out a week ago my husband had sex with another woman. We have been married for 7 years and together for 9.
We had a fantastic 5 years we did everything together, we were best friends. The last 18months have been bad, we cant seem to communicate anymore. He kept going out with his friends and excluding me from everything he did, when he did ask i felt he was doing so to keep the peace. We had rows upon rows and last week i finally chucked him out, publicly threw all his stuff in the street.
He never came back until the following afternoon, still angry with what i had done, i was upset and ashamed of what i had done and cried constantly while he picked up more of his stuff, said he was staying round a friends. I was so upset i did not go to work the next day as i knew he wasnt at work so i thought that if he came home i would try and talk to him. That afternoon a man knocked at the door who i had seen before,(he had been round before asking after my husband a few months before) and said to me did you know your husband had sex with my ex wife last night and that he was still round there now.
I was mortified as you can imagine, and shocked because my husband has always been firmly against infidelity. I burst into tears and phoned him immediately he denied it of course, and said he knew who he was and would be straight round. I waited and waited until finally he arrived, i knew by his face it was true as soon a he walked in.
He said he met her down the gym and he could tell that she fancied him, but wouldnt do anything about it because me, he said he even went to different gyms to avoid her. Anyway when i chucked him out last Saturday he went out and got very drunk and this girl was in the same pub as him and they got talking. She asked if he was still with me and he said "she has just chucked me out" he said they chatted some more and she kissed him, he said he pulled back at first cause i flashed in front of him. They chatted some more and they both kissed each intimately severel times throughout the evening. He said he went home with her and they had protected sex. When he awoke he got up quickly because he could hear her 3 kids. That sunday he came round and had a go at me and said he was staying round a mates, but he actually stayed at hers, he said nothing happend they chatted and he slept on the couch, cause he had nowhere to stay that night. Before he came round and told me all this, on the Monday he said he could see by her face that she didnt want to know him and vice versa.
He says he is still in love with me and adores me and wants to be with me and that it was the biggest mistake of his life, and to please give him another chance. I am so hurt, and sickend i dont know what to do, i cant stop thinking about them and the lies he has told(he could never lie to me before) it has only been a week!
I love him, he is my soulmate, but i dont know if i could learn to trust him again, i am a very trusting person. He keeps bombarding with phonecalls and i havnt answered any of them he just keeps asking how i am.
Tonight i answered a call because he said he would keep calling me at work if i didnt, and after crying all week i was getting angry, he asked me why i was being like this and was it over, he pushed me for an answer and i said"yes" if he wanted an answer now that was what it was.
He is now threatening to move back into the family home, which i can not stop him i know, because he cant afford to live as he pays the mortgage bills. He says we live seprately and split bills down the middle,(our home is currently up for sale) until the house is sold.
Idont know what to do im in turmoil, please try and help. Shall i have him back and try and put it behind us or shall i let him go?
