Thanks for your post...guess what? My Hs OW is also a bartender at his restaraunt. That empathetic ear is a real ***** isn't it? My husband is now torn between pursuing his dream of opening his own restaraunt and getting out of the business altogether for the sake of his marriage. I've tried to be encouraging and explain that the industry didn't fail our marriage. WE failed our marriage and that without practical steps toward recovery and realistic expectations it could just as easily happen somewhere else. I do, hoever believe that at least during the recovery process
he should seek a position that doesn't take him away from home so much. Especially since WS still works with OP. Does yours? Anyway would love to be kept posted on your recovery.

Danni C

I'd like to tell you that there is a recovery, however she told me on D-day that she wanted a divorce and that she has for quite sometime. The only thing that had held her back for so long was her fear of my families repercussions against our children. I hope that it is the fog talking. She has told me that OM is just a friend (you don't hug, and kiss, and lay together for hours with a friend) and that she will not let us come between her friendship with him.

I hope and pray each day for the strength to make it through this. You can follow my story from my posts on "Just Found Out", General Questions II, and Plan A / Plan B forums. In addition to my mind being all over the place, so have my posts.

I have had a friend tell me that they think that she may be going through some sort of midlife crisis. God only knows. I pray for her and for her to have clarity of mind. The woman that I have known and loved for over half of my life would have never done this.

I'll post whenever there is something to report or when I have a question or coaching that I know our comrades in arms here can help me through.