I just found out that my ex-husband is remarrying. This is his choice but the person he is marrying is the same person he had an affair with and broke our marriage up. This person even told me when my ex-husband and I was together that she wanted and him and will have him no matter what. Now, my question is what is the success rate for a marriage that is formed out of adultry and infidelity? I hear the stories about it won't last or trust and respect will not be a part of the marriage. But I wanted to know if anyone have any thoughts or first hand knowledge.

Can't post link, but I remember its like only 3% of affairs lead to the marriage of the cheaters... and of those marriages, 75% end within 2 years. After all, they fall in love in a fantasy world, terminate their marriages in a fog, and remarry on a foundation of lies, broken promises, and failed commitments.

Lyxa, do you possibly have the web address that have these statistics.

I feel like a retard now because I just read those statistics this morning in "After the Affair" by Janis Abrahms.

I believe that I read the same statistics in Harley's, Surviving an Affair.

Have read the same stats and there were some others I read as well....just can't recall where... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Anyway, while my FWH and I were in MC our 'shrink' <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> told us that very few of these relationships last. They begin as fantasies and can't survive the real world and it's demands.

Don't worry about them anymore plz. Go on with your life, who cares what they do. You have had an unbelievable learning experience...use your new found powers for good, not evil! lol <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Well, speaking from experience....

My H's OW was my former best friend. She cheated on her first husband with her second husband. This was only maybe 9 mos into the marriage. She moved in with #2 and lived with him for four years. 6 mos after marrying him, she cheated on HIM with my husband.

They got divorced. Her Husband (#2) told me he only married her out of guilt, from their affair and from living with her.

So no, don't expect that marriage to last. Relationships that begin with lies and deceit usually don't last. Be glad you are not a part of it anymore.

Thanks to everyone who have responded. I am finally over him and moving on with my life but when I found out they were getting married, I felt like a mule kicked me in my head. I think that was what really closed the door for me. I don't understand why they feel that they can make it work when they came together out of deceit and lies. She told me she was going after him and he cheated on me. And now they are marrying the same month that He and I got married (just a three week difference in dates). I will never understand peoples motives and mentalities.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by summerwinds:
<strong>Thanks to everyone who have responded. I am finally over him and moving on with my life but when I found out they were getting married, I felt like a mule kicked me in my head. I think that was what really closed the door for me. I don't understand why they feel that they can make it work when they came together out of deceit and lies. She told me she was going after him and he cheated on me. And now they are marrying the same month that He and I got married (just a three week difference in dates). I will never understand peoples motives and mentalities.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I am glad that you moved on ... it is better to watch soap opera on TV rather than be on one of them. This is my 2¢. They try to make a point to you that their relationship is better than yours ... childish one. What is the success of their M ?, depend how much honesty they have in their relationship ... the more lies and deceits they have between them the better chances it won't last !.

-RH-

Redhat you are right. But I do think that they have already started out with dishonesty. Just my opinion.

The best book on the subject is "True Lies" by Frank Pittman. He also wrote another book the title is something about Growing up.