Read my story first.....<P>We plan to put our house up for sale in March. With the OM living across the street has stressed my wife. Our 2 kids play with their kids several times a week and are good friends. I hope that once we move that the OM will not be tempted to contact my wife. He seems to become tempted about every 6 months.<P>My wife had lunch with the OM in October. After he broke off the affair in 1998, she never had a chance to speak her mind. One of her beefs was that he broke up with her one week after they had sex. She told me that this made her feel like a tramp, that he took advantage of her...<P>During the time they were sending E-mails to each other, he was sending her verses but she kept questioning him about his feelings toward her which he kept avoiding. I know she is very angry about this contact that he initiated and also the phone calls this last spring that scared her to death. She tells me that she was trying to find out what he was up to restarting this contact. I believe she was trying to get hard information that he was trying to restart the relationship so she could tell his wife.<P>Do any of you agree with what she is saying? Is she still in withdrawl? Do you think she still has feelings toward him. I know moving will help her alot and get her away from this monster but he is still stupid enough to possible try to contact her again. Can I trust her not to fall into this relationship again..... I want to....<P>------------------<BR>

Nobody can answer <B>for</B> your W, but my guess is that she's withdrawing slowly, and it should speed up nicely when you move.<P>All I can say, as a W who betrayed myself, is that the fantasy is sometimes very strong, and her feelings of anger are possibly just a mask for her guilt and shame. The fact that he couldn't "commit" by saying what she wanted to hear, just says to me that he's a pig who used her. Ooops, I guess I'm speaking of my OM... but hey, the truth is sometimes painful, you know?<P>Best wishes in this move... I hope it really helps!!<P>------------------<BR>Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans.<P>~John Lennon

Hubby - I really think Sheryl's hit the nail on the head.<P>This is definitely withdrawal. And throw in feeling a bit foolish because she let herself be taken in.<P>The move is SUCH a great idea. I think that once you're settled, you'll begin seeing some very positive changes.<P>Just hang in there. It's very hard, I know. But you can do it. And the time WILL come when she can help you.<P>Lori