Note.This was posted to a wrong forum yesterday.

Hi everyone
I've been married for 11 years and we have 2 kids.
We've been separated for the past 4 months when she said she needed space to decide what to do and I moved out.
I had the feeling that we were about to get back when she suddenly stopped talking to me 3 weeks ago,and finally told me yesterday that she felt for another guy who is the man of ther dreams,and
she doesn't trust my love for her.I'm lost here,
I do love her a lot,I want her back but I simply don't know what to do,how to act in her pressence.
She said to give her till year end,to try to start a new life for myself,go out,date other women and then we'll talk.I'm confused .It was all so sudden that I'm lost.I did order a few books but it will take a week to get them and another one to read them.
This is a quote that got me the most:
While being separated and "working to get back"

-If you would've told me 2 weeks earlier that you're hurt I wouldn't have commited to the other guy.
rant/Really?How about you actually doing what you're preaching?You can't get back if you don't give the other person undivided attention.Building up another relationship "just in case" is not what I would call fully committed and undivided attention./end rant

Any ideas on what should I do in the meantime are greatly appreciated

I am sorry for your pain. There are some comments that your wife said I found interesting.
She said that she does not trust your love for her but she was the one that is cheating and got sexually involved with another man. She wants you to date and see other women so she can justify her behavior.
I would strongly suggest that you move back into your home immediately. She is the one that is cheating on you. If she wishes to leave then it is up to her to move. Sometimes the courts will rule this as abandonment even if it is consensual.
This is your home. She seems like a cakewoman who can continue to live in her home and continue to have a sexual affair with her dream man. Let a dose of reality set in and have her move out and see how she likes it. She is being very unfair to you and you should not accept this.
When you move back in ask for counseling and plan A. By being at home it will make it much more difficult for her to continue her affair in front of the family and her friends. By allowing her to live at home without you then you are enabling her to continue the affair without any repercussions to her actions. You need to read the book Tough Love by Dobson. She is manipulating you for her own pleasure. This is your home and your family. You have a right to fight for it and not walk away and be her doormat. I wish you luck.

mike12345,

Welcome to MB ... by now you should get familiar yourself with MB basic concept. Make sure you understand LB, LB$, EN, plan A/B and have read SAA & HNHN. Please do so ...

I agree with bryanp, move back in and stick it out if you want custody of your kids ... however don't LB and watch out for any reason of RO. This way it will buy you sometime to get more information and asess the situation. Snoop if you have to ... know thy enemy, OM. If OM is married, find a way to let OMw know ... If you could not take it, get anti depression medication ... Meanwhile ... get busy, don't let your mind linger and don't dwell on what she said and so on ... If she talks to you and give you reason (usually out of this world reason and don't make sense), dismissed the fog and't take it personally but apologize for the real reason and tell her that you are going to change it and state your corrective action.

Hang in there and vent in here ... be ready for 'coaster ride of your life. -RH-
<strong>Note.This was posted to a wrong forum yesterday.

Hi everyone
I've been married for 11 years and we have 2 kids.
We've been separated for the past 4 months when she said she needed space to decide what to do and I moved out.
I had the feeling that we were about to get back when she suddenly stopped talking to me 3 weeks ago,and finally told me yesterday that she felt for another guy who is the man of ther dreams,and
she doesn't trust my love for her.I'm lost here,
I do love her a lot,I want her back but I simply don't know what to do,how to act in her pressence.
She said to give her till year end,to try to start a new life for myself,go out,date other women and then we'll talk.I'm confused .It was all so sudden that I'm lost.I did order a few books but it will take a week to get them and another one to read them.
This is a quote that got me the most:
While being separated and "working to get back"

-If you would've told me 2 weeks earlier that you're hurt I wouldn't have commited to the other guy.
rant/Really?How about you actually doing what you're preaching?You can't get back if you don't give the other person undivided attention.Building up another relationship "just in case" is not what I would call fully committed and undivided attention./end rant

Any ideas on what should I do in the meantime are greatly appreciated</strong>[/QUOTE]

Thanks for the replies.Problem is I can't move back in.It's a company house from her employer.
She works there,she can't move out.And when I moved out,a few months ago it was because she was with the phone in her hand saying she's gonna call 911.I agreed to move out only because we had a talk and basically went for someting like plan A.Only if I would've known.I was clueless about the OM untill a few days ago.I'm not sure is sex was involved or not there at that time,it may be now,in the past 2 weeks since she broke contact,till I confronted her about what's going on.She told me about the OMwhen I basically toldher that I want to move back in That would suck because we were together a few times over these few months.It went a few days OK, followed by a week of hell ,nothing I was doing was fine ..you probably heard it all before.I guess right now it's too late to try and move back in,since she told the kids already that we decided to stay apart to work it out,and today she went camping with the kids,her mom and I would deffinetely guess the OM.The kids told me that mom told them they will make a new friend.
I don't know what to say anymore...I guess I'll just have to swallow it for now and see what gives .?

Follow up-BTW I don't drink at all and never ever lifted as much as finger to a woman.She did have a lot of nervous breakdowns in the past year,and no,won't take counseling.I should've seen it coming. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />