In the beginning of early May, I found out my husband was having an affair with someone from his job. We seperated and were even contemplating divorce. Just recently he ended the affair and wants to come back - claiming that I was what he wanted. The only problem is this woman keeps calling him. Would it be wrong to call her?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by cmm699:
<strong>In the beginning of early May, I found out my husband was having an affair with someone from his job. We seperated and were even contemplating divorce. Just recently he ended the affair and wants to come back - claiming that I was what he wanted. The only problem is this woman keeps calling him. Would it be wrong to call her?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Welcome to MB. Read as much as you can from Basic concept to all the link from General Welcome. Read SAA as soon as posible. Follow the step to end the affair. NC is a must ... write nc letter and give it to her. Put montoring step on NC. H has to let you know all contact from OW and let you answer it.

Don't call her, don't waste your valuable time ... make your H writes NC letter and you deliver it to her. Use server to served her. Change your H # to nonlisting including your home phone#. If OW is married you might drop annon. letter to her H about the A.

Good luck. -RH-

I fully agree with Redhat, No Contact. Have a NC letter written by H, and sent to OW, by someone other than H.

I just had to respond to this one. I was in the same situation (still am basically). The OW was trying to call after WH broke it off. Was numerous hang up calls, something she was doing when she was seeing him ( I know, go figure!!?? Guess she didn't want it to be a secret)
Well anyway, she also was sending e-mails to my H, giving him the total guilt trip big time. He never read them I DID. Even sent a postcard in the mail from a trip she took, with a "nice" message written of course, this was 2 months after break up. Never mind that I have 3 kids, 1 being 16 yrs, that could have read it!!!. I know that the postcard was really meant for me. (maybe I was suppose to kick him out then and he goes running to her, that was what her plan was I think)
Well I decided to call her H.. had copies of everything, he was so GRATEFUL that I called, he asked for the copies and I gave them to him. He asked some questions, told me some interesting things about her... she had 3 affairs before (that he knows about anyway), My H being #4 and the first MM that he can recall, he even didn't really blame him, his exact words were "I know without a doubt.. that SHE is the instigator in all this, she is VERY manipulative!!!" He even offered to talk to my H, if he wanted to call him.
She also is emotionally unstable, she is taking meds for it, has been for long time, her mother suffers from it too, but he really doesn't know what, more than just depression.
Just to back up a step, my husband was diagnosed with depression, just after he broke it off, had it for years, just denied it. That was a big factor in having the affair.
Moving forward...her H sat on the info I gave him to see if she would come clean, they had just started seeing a MC(at her suggestion)at the same time she starts e-mails, telling my H how she "loves and misses him" and with the warm weather"how much "fun" they could have". Oh and the biggest was " I might as well admit that I left" husband" for you". So imagine his surprise when I come into the picture with these letters.So almost 2 months goes by (we were in contact with each other now and then)
He sends me an e-mail that he finally let the **** hit the fan, and to watch my back.
I start getting e-mails, threatening me etc.from her of course. I NEVER responded back, why bother, it would just encourage her more, she can't play a game if no one plays with her, and I DON"T PLAY GAMES. She couldn't handle being ignored by my H, and now ME. I have the means to call , write, drive by, the whole time of the affair, but I won't stoop to her level. I NEVER contacted her in anyway (but I sure had plenty of reason too)
I hope sharing my story helps to answer your question, I have more to add to it, but this ended up being long enough <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" />
Do not contact her, but you might consider her H, I don't regret that, if you were in his shoes, (which you are ,btw) would you want to be told??
Keep us posted!!!

CM, was just seeing how things are going?
Still with us?

So glad you found MB. So sorry you needed to.

I echo Redhat in that your husband can send his No Contact letter via paid messenger to her job or her home. See if you can find a messenger service where the deliverers are in uniform so that they have a professional or semi-official appearance.

The letter should state that if she continues contact to him, you or your computer that HE AND YOU (a united front) will do all that is legally possible to stop her and imply that further attempts to contact you all will be considered harassment. (Find a lawyer & get advice & wording on this.)

You're doing great to even be able to get on the computer and type. Infidelity really knocks the wind out of you.

The messenger can get a signature, and that will have the emotional effect of having her feel like she's been put on notice, and anticipate what it would feel like to be served a legal document by an emotionally uninvolved authority figure.

You can get good feedback on the no contact letter if you post it here.

Like Pj has indicated, don't give her a way to continue the contact and feed into her insanity.