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recovery - clearing thoughts
#416805 08/12/02 08:08 PM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 41
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cherie Offline OP
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cherie
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 41
3months down the track from finding out about my husbands affair - things are going really good and for the current situation things are probably as fantastic as they could be EXCEPT - I just can't move away from the thoughts of the other woman! My husband is very reassuring and loving and we have come so far and I have no need to doubt his regrets for what happened but I just can't shake the thoughts of what they did share and how it was. I am really ready to try to move beyond this stage but I need some advice on how to remove this negative thoughts as each time I have them it makes me move a step back for every good one I have. My husband and I share a new and exciting and fab. relationship now and I just would like to not have her in my mind at all. What do you suggest?
Re: recovery - clearing thoughts
#416806 08/12/02 09:02 PM
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 180
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trying to get it right Offline
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trying to get it right
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Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 180
I hope you get lots of good advice....I'm wondering the same thing. I'm also wondering how you got to "new, exciting, and fabulous so quickly. What's your secret? Please share!
Re: recovery - clearing thoughts
#416807 08/13/02 06:29 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 146
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Ben R Offline
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Ben R
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Posts: 146
Cherie, I suggest that you take some time about these thoughts. You are still early in recovery. I am around 8 months along (actually I am beginning to lose track <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> ) and yet I still have occasional thoughts.

Sometimes these are fleeting and others they make me feel like bustin' a cap in her *** <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

When they do occur I say to myself "No" and throw up a big STOP sign mentally and get with some new positive thoughts of how far we have progressed.

Ben.
Re: recovery - clearing thoughts
#416808 08/13/02 09:49 AM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,081
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Iceprincess Offline
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Iceprincess
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Dear C,

"shattered" wrote a wonderful post in my thread "new member-pain...", I think it was #38. He comforted me so much with his experience of genuine happiness after a tragedy like this. I am like you -one month after d-day. Love WH at times and at times huge resentment and flashbacks. Working hard to avoid LB but it's difficult. Many others here go through the same feelings. I try to block negative thoughts and ask my husband to comfort me. It helps and true love returns for many wonderful moments.
All the best to you.
Re: recovery - clearing thoughts
#416809 08/15/02 03:38 PM
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 18
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Christiansoldier Offline
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Christiansoldier
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 18
Cherie,

I have the same problems at times. I am now 44 days after D-day, and I could get pretty graphic with the pictures that pop into my head at various times. All they do is serve to make me vengeful and angry.

I don't know what your faith background is. I am Christian. I will tell you this, I have recently taken to praying whenever the pictures begin popping. The only, I truly mean ONLY, way that I have been able to make it through those picture sessions quickly and without tremendous anger, is to pray in the name of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. His name has saved my sanity, and my life, on many occasions.

I hope that this gives you a little something to put in your "toolkit". If not, then just throw it out with the trash.

My two cents.

Moderated by  Fordude 

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