Before I caught my wife on video cheating on me with her co-worker, I downloaded a spyware program on my computer which recorded every keystroke. I was able to capture the emails my WW sent to and received from OM. The email contents were VERY incriminating, but there was not 'proof beyond a reasonable doubt'. My WW of course just blew it off and claimed it was just 'flirtateous' and that she had errored in judgement. I didnt' believe her at first, so I called the OM's wife at work. I told her that I believed something was going on between her WH and my WW. She didn't want to see the email I captured and hung up on me. Of course, the OM was able to talk his way out of it with his wife, and claimed I was just being 'way too sensitive'. The OM of course knows about the video, and my wife watched it while I was gone one night (my friend has the original copy). I made a stupid promise to my WW that I would not inform the OMs wife of the affair. My WW also was concerned because the OMs wife is pregnant. There are a number of things here. The OMs wife doesn't want to know and I promised my WW that I would not reveal the video to her. I also know that doing so would withdrawl huge love bank deposits, as this would be considered a LB to my WW. Bottom line, do I tell the OMs wife? If so, what is the best way to do so? I've read that I should proceed with caution before telling the OMs wife.

You yourself have wisely acknowledged that telling OM's W is a LB, and it is. So why LB if you know that it will yield nothing to your W's love bank and more likely withdraw from it big time? Besides you said that OM's W does not want to know so why force the truth on her?

If your goal is to save your M, your actions are counterproductive to say the least.