I was working plan A . I owned up to the things that needed work within myself. I was working on those things honestly. We seemed to agree on what we wanted from this relationship. But his words cut me deep. His radical honesty has scarred me. I'm not wanted, unattractive and now he says sex with me is not pleasurable for him. This hurts me deeply. I've been more than willing to do whatever he wanted. Asked him how to better do things he enjoyed. He always said you do it great honey.
When I'm working....or home after work, I can keep my mind busy and be a bit optimistic. But when he walks in the door, those words he said come to rushing to the front of my mind....and it hurts all over again. His constant lack of touching me, talking to me or acknowledging me hurts. We sleep in the bed next to each other....not touching, and the uncertainty of will he (fill in the blank) is more than I can bare. I asked him Thursday to move out. For us to try a "controlled seperation"...I got this concept from the book, Should I stay or go. We are both reading (and have our own copies of) Fall in Love, Stay in Love. He says he doesnt love me like a husband should love a wife anymore. He wants to get that back. Says there is no one else. Just that he is confused....and wonders why it was easy to "talk" to another woman if things with us were so good. Last night was my first night alone. I read until 5am. We've set some "ground rules" for this separation.
No dating others, have our own checking accounts, we have therapy today at 4 and will keep up each week with that, no dating each other until we've had time apart...(weekend after labor day) until then call only if truly needed for things such as mail, money, emergencies. My friends took me to see a double feature and to dinner while he took his things yesterday. I miss my husband....not the man that took his place 7 weeks ago. I hope this helps us.