First time on. Please be patient,I'm not sure of the appropriate abbreviations.
I married a man of a different culture 2 years ago.
Although I was aware that he and his Ex, who had had a child together, were still friends, I was not prepared for the depth of his love for her or the fact that I would be sharing my husband ...with me getting the short end of the deal most of the time.
While I admired and supported his dedication as a father, I did not sign on to be part of an emotion triangle and found the extent of her inclusion into our lives bizarre.
His Ex lives only ten minutes from us and works as one of his dance instructors. They are together daily; spending 2-3 hrs in person- parenting, choreography/training, talking on the phone, carpooling, family gatherings, visiting mutual friends, confiding in each other, sharing future plans and finances.
He is still physically attracted to the her, yet according to my H, up to this time, they have shared nothing more than a kiss.
Besides their child, they share a common language, history,music, craft etc....and their families are friends (they grew up on the same street in the same country), he's 12 years older, for she had her child in her teens.
I got tired of the fact that my H never spent time with me...while he was always eager to socialize with his Ex, friends, family and associates of his culture...he never interacted with my American counterparts. Although he was always animated and spoke constantly around his friends/family...he seldom communicated with me. I would be surprised if we spent a total of two hours together a week (and that included sleeping - because we worked alternating schedules).
2 months ago, realizing that the intimacy they shared actually put me in the position of the OW, I decided to ask my H to leave. 7 days later, his Ex's boyfriend of two years left because he got tired of her and my H's relationship.
So there are no more obtacles in their way. Needless to say, they now spend more time together (yet my H insists that they are only good friends-platonic)...she drives his car, has access to his ATM, and has my H sleep over. Even when we lived together-he continually defended her...now she's totally idolized.
This should be the end of the story but like all factual tales...it's not. You see during all this time my H has tried to maintain a friendship with me. I on the other hand want a divorce.
He still wants me physically....and is perfectly content to live between both houses...besides he needs me. Needs me because of his immigrant status...for he would have to leave the country if we divorce.
That is not my problem...for I refuse to put my life on hold for a man who used me to get to another woman (due to my American status- he was able to go back to school, get a job, acquire credit and buy a car...all of which she has benefitted from). He has been nothing but insensitive, selfish, adulturous, and inconsiderate.
Although my H had threatened my life, I have spoke to a lawyer and plan on being divorced by Christmas.
