The good news – my H & I are getting along fine now. He’s being more attentive and trying to make amends for his lurid indiscretions. We are planning to spend Christmas at “The Happiest Place on Earth” (Disney World)…just the two of us. We are looking forward to a week away from everything & everyone. I praise God for how He is bringing healing to our relationship. <P>The issue – over the past 16 years, I have spared no expense when it came to buying Christmas presents for my H. He’s been spoiled. Last year was no exception; I went a little overboard, but I enjoyed giving about as much as he loved receiving. But, this year I feel a little different. He presented me with his “wish list” last night. Whoa! A year ago it wouldn’t have phased me, but let’s face it, he’s been a BAD BOY this year. I really considered gift wrapping a lump of coal and presenting it to him as his sole present this year. But I caved in and purchased a couple of small items, nothing extravagant. Am I wrong for not wanting to give him at least one of the things on his list? I really feel that giving him even one of these things (nothing on the list is under $300) is sort of rewarding him for the year…thus rewarding him for his affair, and for breaking my heart & my spirit. How do I make him understand that he has a lot of nerve for asking for such extravagance after putting me through living hell for the past six months? By the by, we are both infinitely aware of the true reason for the season, the celebration of the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. That is not the issue. <P>Please any comments or suggestions are greatly appreciated. <BR><P>------------------<BR>Love suffers long, and is kind; love envies not; love vaunts not itself, is not puffed up, <BR>rejoices not in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things…<P>

It's just a normal reaction...you were hurt. My H waited 5 months before I got my b-day present, needless to say I sure as heck don't want to give him anything tomorrow, his b-day. The funny thing is, I don't think men look at it the same way. If you get him something he's not going to see it as condoning his behavior. Talk to him, tell him how you feel, and the reason behind the smaller gifts. He may not fully understand since it sounds like things are going great, but if you don't voice your feelings, it will just get pent up. Communicate, communicate, communicate. He only gave the wish list because that's what you've always done for him. You need to let him know how you're feeling.