This is a long story but this is the only way it could be understood. So please bare with me:
Me and my husband have been married for over a year. He is 33 and I am 29. We have no children together.
We met back in August 2000 and things were going so smooth. He treated me like a lady. BTW he taught at a high school as a music teacher.
I remember months and months ago, when we were going to get married. He has been getting touchy over the stupidest things in history. We have been falling out and everything. I felt that he found a letter that I have written to a friend and hid it from me. The reason why is because I wrote a letter to a friend and said that me and him have been getting emotional lately and he has been touchy over nothing.
I wrote that letter and set it on the table one day. Well two days later I was looking for the same letter so I can mail it off. He kept on jumping up, saying, "I didn't take it." The reason why I felt that he had that letter was because when I "misplace" something, usually he helps me look for it. But I had to step up and ask him to help me find that letter. He acted hesitant to even help me find that letter.
I have noticed the way he has been acting every since that letter disappeared. He would withdraw from me a lot and he was less affectionate. Every time I tried to be affectionate to him in bed, he would resent it. And come up with the excuse, "I'm tired." By the way, I wrote this letter way back in January. Well it was 3 weeks to a month after I was looking for that letter, I found it in one of his business binders, hidden behind a bunch of papers. It was usually a binder that he takes to work and he accidently left in my car. So I found the letter opened and everything -- obviously, he took his 15-20 "minutes of fame" and read it. And so I came up front with him about it. And he got very defensive and denied that he read it. So I explained to him, because I already know that he read my letter regardless how many times he denies it, that it was nothing mean I said about him. I told him that I was just stating in the letter that we have not been getting along too well lately. And that I still love him. The problem with his is that he is the type who cannot shrug things off. It is hard for him to forgive anyone, but yet he wants to be forgiven.
He stopped taking me nice places and made me feel bad. He started acting ashamed of me in public. If we do go out to eat he would act rude by reading a book while I am talking to him. There is no communication whatsoever.
So February passed and then came March. I had a problem with my transmission in my car and I called my husband at work and he suggested to have me take my car home and wait until he comes home. He told me that he will be home at 3:00 pm. He didn't even come home until 5:45 pm. He didn't call to notify me that he would be late. I was so concerned about him. I was wondering if he had gotten into an accident or something drastic had happened. So he calls at the last minute, telling me that he had a business meeting. When he came home, he told me a different story. He kept on changing reasons why he was late. I wanted to know details. And he refused to talk to me. He usually tells me things. He never hid things from me. So I told him that I was just curious. He snapped, "You are not curious. You just want to start a fight."
Then when the argument was over, I told him that I am not the one who like to start fights. He said, "I know that. I don't know why you keep on telling me that." He has been verbally and emotionally abusive lately. So when I bring it up he gets mad. So I was just asking him why didn't he notify me to tell me that he was going to be late -- knowing that I had a problem with my transmission. So he got sarcastic and said, "I guess this is a welcome home. Isn't it?" So I have been insecure that he has been secretly starting a new relationship with another woman simply because he thought I was bad-mouthing him behind his back, when I am not that way.
So the withdrawing continued. Every time I bring up the subject about betrayal, he gets very offensive or changes the subject. So we would quarrell about that a lot. Then April, May and June came and went. I still had insecure feelings about being betrayed.
Our money has been coming short a lot. And he has been arguing over money. So there was a graduation ceremony that he told me months ago that I could attend this past year (May 2002)ceremony at his job, and he was welcomed to bring me without a problem. Then at the last minute, he suggested me that I did not come. He would not give me any reason why. So I brought up that letter that I written back in January and that I feel that he is calling himself 'fixing' me because he felt that I went behind his back. He has been excluding me from things.
There is this pregnant female was some Sophomore at this school that he has been telling me about. He was one who But anyway, the female he has been talking to me about, I feel that he has been telling her some vicious things about me. I also feel that the moving expenses that we were supposed to have to move to Colorado (a pretty state)has been secretly spent on this female to her. I feel that he has been selling me out in front of this female when I am not around.
He has been coming home from work real late often. No affection from him at all. No acknowledging the sweet things I did for him or anything. I told him one day that I feel that someone is sharing this relationship. He has been very secretive. He has been acting like I did not exist when I did nice things for him. I wrote him a poem and he acted like he does not care how I feel any more as well as about me. I been feeling neglected too much from him. That pregnant female that he told me that he has been talking to for the past few months is the type who have kids out of wedlock and her boyfriend is in jail. Well one day, me and my husband had went to the store and we ended up running into her. She was giving me this foolish look like I was foolish. She acted like she had something against me. So I feel that he has been filling that woman up with lies about me to make it look like I was one who did him wrong. I didn't say much to her.
So my husband and I moved to the dumpy part of Illinois, simply because of all of the Colorado expenses were spent on that Tracy Gratts (that pregnant girl). I still have been bringing up that incident about him coming home late that day when something was wrong with my car. And he keeps on getting mad and asking me to forget the past. I told him if I had to get my own place I will do so if I have to get stabbed in the back. He claimed that I was threatning to "smash" the relationship. So he blows it way out of proportion.
Then he still covering up and telling me to give him a few minutes for him to tell me why he was acting like that that day. I felt that he needed that "few" minutes to make up a lie. The whole summer was nothing but disagreements and him hinting that he shouldn't have married me in the first place. And here it is September. So I brung up that letter I have written back in January for the last time and we argued about that, he still claims that he did not read that letter.
So I feel like I cannot trust him anymore than I used to. I feel BETRAYED. Can you tell me if you really think he has been betraying me or not?
I understand that my signature states "United we stand; divided we fall". Well I feel like a woman is dividing our relationship.
Please tell me what you guys think.
