Hi,New at writing But have been reading for about 2 years. Well i`ll try to make this short. In a nutshell,My H had PA,two yrs ago,was totally in the thick,thick fog for what seemed like forever. He said he loved her ,and then came back after 5 days and wanted to work things out. I agreed.We did the counciling for months. Was more for me i think. Learned alot,felt better,Got my confidence back. I just can`t get the feelings back i once had for him. This is my 2nd marriage,same thing happened w/1st but he was abusive. I am Wife #3 for him. Both his W`s left him for another. He would always say"How the H*** do they trust eachother?" Go figure. I have a son from the 1st marriage.(9) He is my life. H and him are close. I want to leave. I`m just not happy,I don`t look at him in the same light anymore. And I`m scared. i make decent money i guess. not enough to afford a house, but i think i can get by. Anyone out there been thru this? Help!! Thanks

Sounds like there was never any real closure on the A. At least not in your mind.

Have you both take the EN questionnaire recently? Maybe you both need to see what each other's real needs are.

You have a lot of marriage experiences between the 2 of you, of course no one wants to make that a mistake so you should both be cautious but you also have children so what are your needs is the other spouse not acknowledging?

L.

I think i have closure. I don``t dwell on it at all. I don`t really think of it anymore. At least i don`t hurt anymore. I don`t feel anything. We did the EN and discussed it in counciling. I guess it helped for a while. We seem to not have anything to talk about except work and weather.I feel we are just going thru the motions. I have told him everything i am feeling. And he agrees to it all. He is the type that don`t show emotion and would rather not talk about a problem. Pretend it`s not there and it will go away. he don`t open up to anyone about anything. I`ve asked him if he needed to talk with someone to maybe deal with something he needs to deal with. He can`t or won`t. I don`t feel i can get through,he just won`t let that happen. Also he works nights 6 months out of the year. That alone is hard. I`m lonely. I do things with my friends and try to keep busy. I can`t see him changing he is 53 and I`m 36. Maybe it wasn`t right to begin with.