I just caught my h red-handed in an affair - He has not come home for 3 days - I'm sure he is with her - The hurt and pain is unbearable - I want to try again - I'm willing - but how do I start - How do I start the Plan A, to talk to him about ending it - I really think he will agree, but not sure how to help him - I need him to come back home - I want him back - I have had others tell me to leave for a few days, like he has, but that does not feel like the right thing to do right now - How do I give him a "little" push to help end the affair?? I so scared

roseyheart,

Although I'd like to welcome you to Marriagebuilders, I'm so sorry you have found the need to be here. You'll find a great group here, with lots of helpful advice and very similar situations.

First, READ! Read everything you can on this site. ALL parts of it. Lots and lots of very important and necessary information to get your relationship back on track. I know you'd like the "magic" answer in just a couple of sentences but that's not gonna happen. Start with the General Welcome post found on this forum.

And continue to post. After reading all parts of this site, start asking questions. And if you don't get alot of responses, post again. Everyone here is leading their own very busy lives and dealing with their own situations, not always available to respond, so be patient and don't take it personal.

I know you're hurt and in alot of pain right now. But there IS hope. Be strong. Get a plan going,,and work on it.

Thank you for the reply - He did come home, but only for 3 days. He says he ended it with OW, and wants to stay. Now, he's been gone for 7 days, and nobody, including his business partner knows where he is. He won't respond to our messages (cell phone). At this moment, I just I would just like to know he's ok. I guess he's running. He never has been able to discuss his feelings. I know he is hurting too, guilt perhaps. I really don't believe he is with her. I will pray again tonight for God to guide him back home to begin again. I pray he will open up more with me because if not, I see no way for us to get to the "root" of it all. I hope he comes home soon. Thank God, we have no children of our own. However, his 18 yr old daughter is visiting. She is staying with her step-sister as I told her I just was not sure what may happen here and did not want her to feel uncomfortable. She's a great kid! If he would just come home and talk to me. It would at least be a start. God help us!