My wife and I have been married for 15 years. We have not been getting along for the last couple of years. We ahve 4 kids (13, 12, 8 and 5). We have tried marriage counseling twice. She is a Lutheran. I am a Catholic and have been raising the kids as Catholics. On 8-12-02. My wife told me that she has been having an affair with another woman and that she wants a divorce. She says the affair has nothing to do with wanting a divorce. The other woman, at the same time, told her husband of 25 years that she also wants a divorce.

After my wife first told me of the affair, she talked about wanting to combine households with this woman. I told her she was not thinking clearly. Since then she has not spoken of living with this woman. My wife has been seeing a counselor who has told her to "severely curtail" her encounters with this other woman. In these past few weeks my wife has admitted to being with this woman to talk, run have coffee etc. and even one time had reverted to another sexual episode with her. She speaks with her daily and sings with her every Sunday at ther Lutheran Church. She says she is not a lesbian and wants joint custody of the kids. I want the best for my kids.

How hard should I fight for sole custody or should I agree to joint custody?

THanks

<small>[ September 25, 2002, 10:55 PM: Message edited by: wmm2001 ]</small>

wmm2001,

Welcome to MB. Please follows basic concept links and links under my signatures ... learn as much as you can, you will need it. It is normal WS say a lot of thing and do irrational behavior at this point.

This is my 2cents ... If she choose to live that life style, is best for you to get sole custody and let her to have visitation. However it is very hard to get sole custody !.

Having saying this, are you going to Dv her or you are going to work on plan A ?. If she want Dv let her file it unless your lawyer tell you to do it first (since you want sole custody).

Good luck -RH-