Hi
I am new to this and I really need advise. My H and I have been married for 19 yrs. We have a 13,15,18 yr old kids. No matter what people say he is still the kids father. Other people or me cannot take that away from them. Everything was going fine until he was laid off of work 2 yrs ago and hasn't found work yet. The kids and I was use to him being at work at nights. I just found out in June of this yr that my H was fondling my niece who is 34 one time and a week after that, he sexually assaulted my other nice who's 13. You really need to know what kind a girl she is and how she is around boys and men. She flirts with them. I know this is not an excuse for what he has done. I want him to be punished for what he has done to her and us. She says this has been going on since she was 7. He says this is not true. He admitted to the police that he did it. He says that she is putting more into it then what he's saying. He has hired a lawyer to fight it and we are waiting to go to trial in October to see if he will spend time. I really don't know what to do. Things have really changed since this has happened. I don't want him touching me or get intitment with him either. I think he feels it. I want to tell him this and that he need to be with someone who can fill his need. I love him but not like I use to. Sometimes I think about getting a divorce. Is this normal, in this cituation. I really need some good advice.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by TootsieRo:
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Everything was going fine until he was laid off of work 2 yrs ago and hasn't found work yet.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Ummmm...NO! Everything wasn't fine...he's been accused of being a pedophile! If the accusations are true then his behaviours have been going on alot longer than 2 years!!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by TootsieRo:
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... he sexually assaulted my other nice who's 13. You really need to know what kind a girl she is and how she is around boys and men. She flirts with them. I know this is not an excuse for what he has done.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Lots of people loose their jobs and don't molest little girls! Your 13 year old niece may be a flirt but, so what! Does a woman deserve to be raped because she wears a halter top? Of course not! Does a little girl deserve to be molested because she flirts? NO!!! Your H is the adult, it is up to him to draw the boundaries of acceptable behaviour. You can't possibly expect a child to be the mature, responsible one in this situation?!?! Quit trying to place the blame for his behaviour with a child!
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by TootsieRo:
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She says this has been going on since she was 7. He says this is not true. He admitted to the police that he did it. He says that she is putting more into it then what he's saying.
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It's also possible that he is the one lying....
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by TootsieRo:
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I want to tell him this and that he need to be with someone who can fill his need. I love him but not like I use to. Sometimes I think about getting a divorce. Is this normal, in this cituation. I really need some good advice.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">...someone that fills his needs????!!! What like another 13 year old?? What both of you need is serious therapy. Your H sounds like a pedophile. Accept the reality of this situation and do your best to get some real perspective.

Children are a precious gift from God. It is up to us to protect them, for they can't protect themselves!