Hi again - I wish I could get on here more often, but with no PC at home it's difficult. Why is it that you go through so many ups and downs with these situations??? Early through mid week last week I felt great - was taking control and caring about myself, being civil to my H when he called or had to stop by...then it all comes crashing down. He was over last Thurs and it was a perfectly "normal" evening - no accusing or arguing, and left around 9:00 to go back to his parents home where he has been living for a month. well, i spoke to a friend of mine later that night who just so happens to live in that area, and i took the bait when she asked me if i wanted her to drive by the house where my husbands friend and OW are....of course H truck is parked outside...so, my hard work is destroyed - im making phone calls to his friend and OW screaming at them and they LIE and say he;s not there, then my H calls and we scream some more. so, this is thursday, and what do i do on Saturday? Go to a wedding with H after much advice from my friends that that it would be crazy after all H has done. Nope, didnt listen, went anyway. and actually that night went well, really - H and i are good at denial, and it seemed things were almost normal. then of course i have to tell him that i love him and want to work things out - he said he agreed but we needed time to settle down and get rid of all the anger. i went home w/my daughter at the end of the evening, and make my life worse by deciding to go next door to hang out with some neighbors who were having a party (we live in a condo)...i walked in this place asking if i could have a couple of beers and end up staying there for awhile (i dont even know these people that well!) then the one person I do know is living with his pregnant girlfriend down the hall says he'll walk me back (STUPID ME!) they live next door for gods sake! So, he hits on me and trys to kiss me - i didnt let that happen but im just sick about it, and THEN make the mistake of telling my H about it...he freaks out, blames me for even going over there and now says we should confront the girlfriend about what happened. first of all, H has yet to tell me ANYTHING about whats really going on w/OW in addition to the multiple other partners he has had...so why am i supposed to say anything to this woman? i know its all about control with mt H, but i am feeling out of control b/c i have to live two doors down from this couple and i cant even look at this guy after what he did.
So, just help! what am i doing to myself here?!
