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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 11
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Junior Member
Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 11 |
Have I Just Lovebusted ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif) input please.<P>O K, I am trying to be in plan B no Contact <P>W just dropped car round for son to use tomorrow, I pulled up with daughter as W was leaving. So I sat in car, out on roadway, made no attempt to look or communicate with her, while she was talking to son and daughter, thereby totally ignoring W. I thing this was probably a big Lovebust. ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/blush.gif) <P>Any one agree: - and should I try to rectify “possibly a note to say sorry but contact Hurts, as set in my Plane B letter” or will this delay my no Contact. <P>Yours <P>Tadpole<BR>
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Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 322
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I'm no expert, but no one's replied yet, so here's my opinion:<P>If you're in Plan B, that means your wife is still involved in an affair, right? You can't rebuild your marriage until she severs all contact with the OM, and avoiding Love Busters is something you do to strengthen and/or protect a relationship. Technically, if you currently have no contact with your W, she and you have no present relationship, therefore, you can't love bust. I'm not sure if Dr. Harley intended this loophole. I am sure that you sticking to the "no contact" as outlined in your Plan B letter to your W will convince her you meant what you said. For what it's worth, I don't think what you did was damaging, and I would advise you not to worry about it.
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Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 218
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I don't think you should contact her in anyway and make any excuses for yourself. But however, the next time I might get out of the car and say a generalized and polite "Hello, how are you doing?" and keep walling inside.<P>You want her to see you strong and together. <BR>But I don't see what you have done as a lovebuster.<P>Genie
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 5,798
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I never quite got the hang of Plan B, but when we were switching off the kids, I tried to treat him like any other acquaintance. Polite, friendly & keeping it short.<P>I think your behavior fit Plan B and hopefully drove your point home to her that you won't seek contact.<P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"Do not get tired of doing what is right, for after awhile you will reap a harvest of blessings if you do not get discouraged and give up. (Gal 6:9)<P><BR>
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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 5,406
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Joined: Sep 1999
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Tadpole,<P>Genie29 is 100% right.<BR>No it wasn't a <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3400_lovebust.html" TARGET=_blank>Love Buster</A>, just an indescretion. A polite "hello"... is all you need.<P>No need for a followup note!... ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif) <P>Hold your head up high... <P>Jim
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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 104
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Hey Tadpole,<P>I do not see what you did as a Love Bust. I do, however, remember reading recently that even in plan B (according to the good Dr. Harley) you are to let W know that you still are interested, care about the marriage, but not willing to put up with her bull-[censored]. If you can think of ways to do that without direct confrontation... that would be good. Best of luck to you!
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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 11
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 11 |
Hey thank's everyone <P>I feel a lot better for your comments <P>wafflestoo- can you let me know where you read Dr Harley comments ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/grin.gif) ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/wink.gif) <P>yours <BR>Tadpole<P>[This message has been edited by TFJ (edited December 15, 1999).]<p>[This message has been edited by TFJ (edited December 15, 1999).]
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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 104
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Ok Tadpole,<P>I will try to get this info. correct:<P>On a December 12th post by Roll Me Away a second session with Dr. Harley was discussed. Dr. Harley explained to Roll Me Away that sometimes there are no clear boundries between plan A and plan B and that he recommended her to return to plan A for some love deposits and some nice comments to her H. Her thread is long and there are a lot of good after-posts. I hope that this info. helps you. It did, by the way, help Roll Me Away. She actually went out on a date with her H (the first in a long time) and had a wonderful time (posted at a later date) Good luck.
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