the first counseling session? I just got off the phone with a therapist who does marriage counseling. I made an appointment for this Wednesday. having never been to a counselor, let alone even considering doing so, IM a bit on the anxious side.

I was hoping, people who are in a similar boat as me (spouse who cheated on them) could give me a bit of a generalization, as to what occurs usually at the first session.

I feel a bit miffed to be honest, that we even have the need for a counselor. I am attempting to be open minded, but its pretty tough under the circumstances...anyone?

Is it MB counseling ? or other ?. The one important thing is you have to be radically honest so that MC/IC could help you out. Hide nothing !. The same way when you visit your doctor. I made mistake on my doctor visit <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> for few visit he tried to help me w/ my complaint of burning sensation on my throat came from my tummy ... I didn't tell him about W's A, he is our family doctor. The moment I told him (SH told me to do it) he put me on paxil !.

-RH-

its just regular marriage counseling...sorry i didnt clarify that, but to be honest im pretty naive to all of it.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by aspenweeping:
<strong>its just regular marriage counseling...sorry i didnt clarify that, but to be honest im pretty naive to all of it.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hey, there is first time for everything. However please make sure you ask if MC understood MB concept !. Some MC that beleive in codependency and apply it in the wrong way. Run away from those MC, it won't help you. Ask MC on what is his/her approach ?.

-RH-

Relax, be honest, be yourself. MC are there to help, not hurt you! Think of it as self-improvement!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

The first session should be mainly background stuff. They'll want information about YOU, your upbringing, your past relationships, etc. The first session rarely deals with what you are actually there to discuss. The counselor has to know something about you before they can began to help guide you to self-discovery.

You might call the office and see if they have a form that can be filled out to give to the counselor BEFORE your sessions. If so, it can make it somewhat easier to know what they will be asking.

Be painfully honest. Do NOT hide any mistakes you've made in your life. Even if you don't feel that it is important as to why you are there. The more the counselor knows about you...the better.

Also, "interview" the counselor somewhat. Find out what their idea is on dealing with your issues. Do they believe that a marriage saved is a "success story" and is the best outcome regardless? While often that may be the case, sometimes it is not what is needed. Some marriages should NOT survive...while some are very much worth saving. But the goal should be for you to find out which is best for you and your situation, not have a preceived idea of what is best going into it.

Good luck on your counseling...may you find enrichment, help, guidence, hope, and healing.