HELLO HERES MY ROLLER COASTER RIDE..8 MTHS AGO ME AND MY W HAD A VERBAL FIGHT.I TOLD HER I DIDNT LOVE HER.WE HAD SOME FRIENDS OVER AT THE TIME AND WAS PLAYING CARDS..MY SON TOLD ME MOM WAS TRYING TO GET IN THE GUN CASE..I AT THAT TIME HAD MY FRIEND TAKE ALL MY GUNS HOME WITH HIM ALSO MY SON..HE IS 9.AFTER THEY LEFT SHE PULLED A KNIFE OUT AND TURNED IT TOWARDS HER LIKE SHE WAS GOING TO STAB HERSELF..I GRABBED MY PHONE WENT TO MY TRUCK AND CALLED BOTH OF HER PARENTS TO COME OVER.THEN I CALLED A FRIEND JUST TO STAY ON THE LINE.IT WAS CRAZY..I STAYED AWAY FOR A FEW WEEKS STAYING HERE,THERE,ANYPLACE I COULD..I TOLD HER IM GOING TO FIND ME A PLACE TO LIVE SHE SAID SHE WASENT GOING TO STAY IN THE HOUSE THAT SHE WOULD MOVE OUT.SHE HAD PICK OF ANYTHING SHE WANTED..SHE FOUND AN APT.WELL 2 AND 1/2 WEEKS LATER ON A SAT MORN.I WAS TO DROP MY SON OFF SO I COULD GO TO WORK,SHE WASENT THERE,WAITED AROUND.MY SON HAD A KEY I TOLD HIM LETS GO IN SO I CAN USE THE PHONE..I KNEW SHE WAS GOING OUT WITH THE GIRLS..WE WENT INSIDE I USED THE PHONE..THEN I SEEN A PAPER WITH A PHONE NUMBER WRITTEN ON IT..IT WAS MY BEST FRIENDS CELL NUMBER..I SAID NO WAY..LOADED MY SON AND DROVE TO HIS HOUSE.AND HER CAR WAS IN THE DRIVEWAY.PARKED AT AN ANGLE SO IT COULDNT BE SEEN VERY WELL??? WENT UP TO HER CAR LOOKED INSIDE..SEEN A BEER BOTTLE HIS BRAND..WENT TO FRONT GLASS WINDOW HIT IT AS HARD AS I COULD..NO ANSWER..BURNED MY TIRES OUT FRONT OF HOUSE GOT OUT CALLED ON MY CELL..I SAID WHAT IS SHE DOING THERE???HE SAID SHES NOT HERE..I SAID IM IN THE FRONT YARD..STILL NO ANSWER TO THE DOOR I LEFT..CALLED HER ANSWER MACHINED LEFT NASTY WORDS..CALLED HIS PLACE LEFT NASTY WORDS.TWO HOURS LATER SHE CALLS AND SAYS NOTHING WAS GOING ON..WE START TALKING MORE OVER THE WEEKS..WE START GETTING CLOSER TOGETHER..THE STORY STARTS CHANGING??THEY MET AT A RESTAURANT THEN WENT TO HIS HOUSE..THEN THEY WENT OUT ON THAT FRIDAY BEFORE I FOUND THEM AT HIS PLACE ON SAT.TO MEETING AT A BAR THEN WENT TO ANOTHER BAR THEN BACK TO HIS PLACE.TO WATCHING A MOVIE ON A WED THEN OUT FOR DRINKS ON A FRIDAY..AND ETC.OKAY THIS HAPPENED OVER A TWO WEEK TIME..WELL WITH 7 DIFFRENT STORIES AND THE I DONT KNOW,CANT REMEMBER,I WAS DRUNK,I PASSED OUT,AND FOR THE TWO WEEKS MY FRIEND WAS STOPPING BY MY SHOP SHOOTING THE BREEZE.TALKING AND ALL THIS TIME HE WAS SEEING MY WIFE..WELL 8 MTHS LATER THIS IS THE STORY I HAVE. 1 ST MTH.SHE PREACHED HOLY GOD THAT SHE WAS TELLING ME THE TRUTH.BUT SHE WAS LYING.THIS IS THE LAST STORY 8 MTHS LATER..SHE MOVED OUT ON A THUR.SHE WENT TO A REST.WITH HIM ON A MONDAY THEN TO A BAR THEN TO HIS HOUSE WERE THEY KISSED SHE SAYS THATS IT.THEN FELL ASLEEP..THE WEEK WENT BY HER CALLING HIM.HIM CALLING HER.THE NEXT MONDAY HE CALLED AND WENT TO HER APT.WHERE THEY STARTED KISSING AND FEELING UNDER CLOTHES.THEN SHE SAYS HE LEFT HE WAS THERE AROUND 930PM TILL 1230PM.THEN WED.SHE WENT TO HIS PLACE HAD DRINKS WENT FOR A WALK STARTED GETTING IT ON ON THE COUCH..ALL HER CLOTHES CAME OFF.AS DID HIS..HE MADE HER CLIMAX TWICE..WITHOUT INTERCOURSE THEN SHE WENT DOWN ON HIM.BUT HE WAS LIMP SHE SAYS NOT HARD.THEN HE SAID WHY DONT WE STOP AND GO INTO BEDROOM WHERE THEY WENT TO SLEEP??THEN FRIDAY SHE WENT TO HIS PLACE THEY WENT FOR DRINKS AND MET SOME OF HIS COLLEGE FRIENDS AND THEY BOTH GOT DRUNK.THEY WERE DRIVEN HOME BY HIS FEMALE FRIEND WHICH SAYS SHE HELPED MY WIFE OUT OF HER CLOTHES DUE TO SHE THREW UP ON THEM.MY WIFE SAYS SHE WOKE UP SAT.MORN TSHIRT BRA,UNDERWARE,TRASH CAN,WENT TO BATHROOM CLEANED UP WENT INTO LIVING ROOM HE WAS ON ONE COUCH AND THE OTHER FEMALE WAS ON OTHER COUCH.SHE WOKE HIM UP THEY WENT TO THE BEDROOM AND STARTED GETTING IT ON HE AGAIN MADE HER CLIMAX TWICE AND AGAIN HE WAS LIMP.THEN I HIT THE WINDOW OUT FRONT AND THEY WERE TRYING TO FIND CLOTHES. OKAY THE OTHER FEMALE I NEVER SEEN EVEN AFTER I HIT THE WINDOW MADE ALL THE NOISE IN THE WORLD NOTHING??? I GOT 3 DIFFRENT STORIES OF WHAT THE FEMALE LOOKED LIKE FROM MY WIFE.AND ONE FROM MY EX FRIEND.NONE OF THEM MATCHED....I DUE KNOW 3 OF THE GIRLS HE HAD BEFORE MY WIFE.AND THERE WAS NO PROBLEM GETTING HARD HIS THING TO WORK?? SO HOW COULD ALL THE SUDDEN HE BE LIMP BOTH TIMES THEY WERE TOGETHER..??? THERE ARE 4 THINGS THAT CHANGED ONE WAS ORAL,TWO WAS KISSING,THREE WAS A DIFFRENT KIND OF MOVE HER PICKING UP HER HIPS?? FOUR SHE WOULD LIKE MASSAGE KINDA GRAB SQUEEZE THING? WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 13 YEARS AND THE 4 THINGS WERE NIGHT AND DAY DIFFRENT..I SAY IT CAME FROM HIM.SHE SAYS IT DIDNT..BUT IT WAS NEVER THERE FOR 13 YEARS...I TOLD HER THAT I THINK SHE IS STILL LYING AND KEEPING THINGS FROM ME ABOUT IT..WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH 2 COUNCELERS..AND SHE SAYS SHE IS TELLING ME AND HAS TOLD ME EVERYTHING..BUT I SAY SHES NOT.BECAUSE THERE ARE TWO MANY THINGS THAT DONT MAKE SENSE..OUT OF THE STORIES..I DONT KNOW WHAT TO BELEIVE ANYMORE??? AND HERE I SIT 8 MTHS LATER GETTING REAL TIRED OF ALL THIS CRAP..AND WANT A DIVORCE BECAUSE I THINK SHE IS STILL LYING TO ME ABOUT IT..WHAT DO YOU THINK????
SORRY FOR THE LONG LETTER...... ( NOT SURE)

Well...first please take off "all caps", it makes it very difficult to read.

Second, I don't know if you'll ever be able to discover exactly what happened 8 months ago. It sounds as if your W was drinking heavily and that will add to the confusion of what actually went on.

Third..you told your W that you no longer loved her, while I deplore her actions...some of them might have been a reaction to that statement. It's not very easy to feel good about yourself when someone you love has just informed you that they no longer love you. And when our self esteme has taken that type of abuse, we tend to act in ways that we would not normally act.

Fourth, what are your feelings toward your W? Do you love her? Are you only "protecting your turf" when you discovered that their might be someone else that could be interested in her? You NEVER said in your post if you actually do love her...I find that omission telling.

IF...you don't love her...get out of the marriage. Why put both of you through all the pain of rebuilding a marriage, if there is no love to keep you two together?

Some marriages should NOT survive. Some marriages are worth saving. Which is yours?