Okay, here I am again - need an educated answer to this question - and all of you on this site have been wonderful so far. D-Day - Aug 31 '02 - just got married 5/02! H out of house since then. How much time am I supposed to give H to decide whether to give this marriage a shot at recovery or not? I have said I am willing and have been in counseling and reading books since d-day -he has been sitting in his parents basement feeling sorry for himself. Said once he would look into a counselor but hasn't, has given up no information about OW or other partners I heard about after D-day from a friend of his; tells me he's confused, angry, doesn't know if he should be married to anyone right now; then flip flops and wants to see me and my daughter b/c he misses us. I understand this is all part of the process but how long do I allow this "limbo" state to continue??

How long is something that only you can decide for yourself. We can't make that decision for you. For some, a day is too long, for others they have the courage and strenght to wait however long is needed for a decision to be reached by their WS.

Remember...whatever timeline works for you...is the right timeline. There is NO set schedule we must keep. Only what our hearts and minds tell us.

Good Luck!