My husband and I have been in conflict on and off for the past 2 years without resolving them. Over the past one month, 2 conflicts arose and that seemed to be the limit for him. He burst and started coming home late at nites which he never did without my knowledge. Then he started biz trips with this lady from office and delayed trips thro weekends. They've been on the same flights there and back. I started suspecting her when I looked into his mobile phone book and saw her name changed to a guy's name and a couple of messages I saw disturbed and alerted me. We did talk a few times during this one month and I have been the willing party to work things out. I also directly asked him about this OW whom I knew briefly as well. He has often said "it's not what you think". Deep within, I'm torn as my husband has always been a good husband and I least expected him to do such a thing. But his words and his actions don't tally and led me to continually suspecting OW. We just saw a counsellor and the conclusion was that I give him the space that he is asking for now for 2 months. During these 2 months, I will not question his whereabouts and when he's coming back as he felt stifled by "having to report to me". I will let him do whatever he wants during these 2 months. So, just last weekend I packed him off to a weekend golf with her. He told me with some guys but I found out it's her. Then last nite, a message on his phone confirmed all my suspicions. "Honey missed you" was the message from her. After that, he went out and came back only at midnite. I'm now torn on how I shud approach the situation. I willingly give him the space and I want to keep this promise. But shud I also tell him my suspicions are confirmed and that he needs to do something now or what. Pls advise.

Find a new MC. That sounds horrible for you. I am amazed that a professional counsellor would tell him that you should give him space. This will only enable to continue with the EA possible PA. I am so sorry that you are going through this. Read through as much as you can on this site and keep posting. Talk to your husband as soon as you can - I suppose you have to wait until he returns. Your H is being totally insensitive to you to say the least. The worst that's happened is an A and that's horrible.

Agree strongly with Krissee, you are in bad need of a new counselor.

Personally, I could no more NOT confront then I could fly. There are some who are able to ride the rollercoaster without speaking out...I wasn't one. I'd confront, tell him his space is now limited to either staying married (and getting rid of friend) or getting out! But, this is just me and what you might decide to do maybe completely different and completely right for you.

To me, silence and secrets are part of what breeds affairs. Communication and honesty breeds closeness, caring and healing.

Good Luck!