I thought that many of you could appreciate the Irony of what I am about to tell.

Been out of the loop for a while (original post on July 16th, 2002 "Situation Seems Unique), I had taken up a form of Martial Arts early this year and have buried myself in it lately. There is something very therapuetic about changing into a Clean White Gi and for one to two hours a day all troubles are "washed" away in the rythum of training. Enough Philosphy for now.

I had considered about titling this post "Turnabout is Fair Play"; however I did not want to give the wrong impression! I have done nothing to compromise my Morals or Ethics!

Quick synopsis, W had been in multiple EA's. Well, the FCL #4 (First Class Loser), A real Sh*t! has been over the past few months showning his TRUE colors to my W. (she has been tyring to break it off). My W. had been associating with this Dirtbag for about seven months, even fell in love with him Really bad. She had been real open with me about the "relationship", I warned her about what would happen (But who wants to hear the truth). My W. would not heed my warnings about him (even after he admitted to her about having an affair with one of her girlfriends who is married, and he knew about the marriage). This past weekend the FCL #4 went out of town and visited an Ex-Grilfriend... He lied to my W. playing that he was going to a different city; his baggage claim stubs and tickets told the truth. My W. is hurt because the FCL #4 swore to my wife (after his return) on the bible that he did not see his Ex. My W. now wants nothing to do with him and has now turned to me devastated (Like before), I will be supportive. We will work on our marriage (but, she KNOWS that I WILL NOT take one more Affair of ANY type).

Please forgive me if I sound Cruel; I know she is hurting, but the Biggest Irony, is that internally I am Roaring with Laughter, like in the classic Loony Toons Fashion! Awfully hard to be supportive when you want to cheer and dance. Finally the [censored] is not going to be a thorn in my side too much longer.

My W. is really starting to appreciate the kind of man I am, I may not be the most "sexy" or Adventurous... but I am a man of integrity. To Quote a Friend... "I am, THE MAN".

I know I have a long road ahead, but the "Storm" is not as Fierce as it has been! God Bless.

I don't understand what you are gloating about. The whole situation is pathetic. The fact that she is devastated from finding out OM#4 is cheating on her does not mean that she won't go on to OM#5. Being a nice guy who has integrity did not stop her from having all these affairs. What makes you think that she is going to take your threat to end the marriage if she has another affair any more seriously than before the 2nd,3rd or 4th affair. As soon as she is over her grief from breaking up with her last lover she will be looking around for another replacement who will sweep her off her feet. My advice is to not take her back into the marriage unless she fulfills certains conditions such as going for therapy, telling you where she is at all times, reading books on affairs, going to a house of worship on a regular basis, dressing modestly, etc. Just my opinion....Tom

I also agree with Tommaz. I just do not see what you are gloating about. She has had 4 different affairs that you know about and seems to have made a mockery of your marriage and putting your health at risk for all sorts of STD's. She knew what a total scumbag OM#4 was and proceeded to have an affair with him anyway. I would think that your credibility is also questioned. It really seems silly to say if she has affair #5 you will leave. Why would she believe you since she has already had 4 affairs on you. I must have missed something but it does not seem much of a victory dealing with a wife who just finished and is hurting after having affair number 4 on her husband. If you consider this a victory then I wish you lots of luck because you will need it.

hmmm...well I do understand exactly where you are coming from. While it may not be very nice to gloat...we do it !!! While you and your W definitely have some issues to settle, that in no way means that you can't settle them to both of your satisfaction, if this is your goal.

If you still love your W...it is completely YOUR decision and right to give her another chance at fullfilling her role as your W. Do NOT let others sway you...this is YOUR decision. You're the only one here who knows your situation inside and out, anyone here only knows what small amount can be posted on the internet.

I do agree with counseling, both individual and couple. Even when a marriage doesn't have major issues, a little counseling can smooth the way...and when there are major issues it can be a "deal maker".

However, do not put your life on hold waiting for the moment that she "comes to her senses"...continue with improving YOUR life and making you a happier person. That way, if she does make the turn, she'll benefit...but if she does or not...you benefit either way.

Good Luck!