My husband and I survived an affair a 4-5 yrs ago - I cheated - with help from this site (thanks!). Now a friend of mine (P) is going through the same thing - her husband cheated with her best friend. P and her husband are trying to work things out, looking at this site, going to counselling, etc.

P has chosen to stay involved in our pool leagues and tournaments around town after a short stay away. As has her "best friend" (BF). P's husband has no contact with BF any more. BF has no compassion for P and seems to make a point of letting P know she's not going away from this recreation. Even though they have no conversation, simply being in the same room makes P upset and often she must leave - especially if BF makes a point to come play or chat with someone near P. P constantly comes to her friends incredulous at BF's behavior. While we are sympathetic and supportive, we're not sure how to respond to help her move past this. The affair came to light in early July this year. P's involvement resumed approximately late August, early Sept. Ideas/thoughts?

Pool,

How kind of you to want to help your friend. Are you and her other friends also friendly with BF?

Honestly, She needs to have no contact with BF. BF is enjoying torturing her. Why would she want to subject herself to that?

As the saying goes "The best revenge is to live well"! If your friend insists she wants to stay in the pool league with BF; then she needs to present her best confident self. But personally I think that's asking too much of herself. Who needs that kind of pressure. Is there another league she can join?

Also recommend that she read the Harley book Surviving An Affair. Blessings CSue

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by CSue:
<strong>Pool,

How kind of you to want to help your friend. Are you and her other friends also friendly with BF? (No)

Honestly, She needs to have no contact with BF. BF is enjoying torturing her. Why would she want to subject herself to that? (Epecially as fragile as she is right now, totally agree)

As the saying goes "The best revenge is to live well"! If your friend insists she wants to stay in the pool league with BF; then she needs to present her best confident self. But personally I think that's asking too much of herself. Who needs that kind of pressure. Is there another league she can join? (she needs to weigh her priorities - this is the only league we want to be in to prepare for Vegas and if she wants to go to Vegas with us... Not being the most helpful here, are we?))

Also recommend that she read the Harley book Surviving An Affair. Blessings CSue</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thanks for your post.