I'm p****d off to a degree where I feel like totally blowing up. I've been over here in the U.S for nearly 6 months now and came over with one suitcase, one pair of shoes and not many smart or sexy clothes really, or clothes for going out in, I left those at home, thinking I'd be going back. Well, I am in January but this is the point of my rant. I wanted to go clothes shopping but my husband said we couldn't afford to right now. Fair enough, well, says rach, "lets go out for a romantic meal then or do something nice like that?" H says "we can't afford it". I get the credit card bill and he's spent $40 on a swinger's/porn subscription. Ok, only $40 but if we can't go out to eat then we can't afford porn right?! Same with the other day I ask the same thing, can we go out for a meal, answer, "NO" on the way home then from going to a job interview the very same day, H says "I'm going to the porn video shop" So I blow up, but, I'm called demanding and a supervisor, I got him angry because I put the content advisor on the computer but he figured how to get it off. I'm being pressured with swinging and a 3some with his "best friend" whom he already cheated on me with before we were married.

He tells me he doesn't like doing the porn thing, but he needs his private time. I told him that "swinging" wasn't a lifestyle I wanted to get into. And besides, I asked him "O.K for arguements sake we go to a club, am i allowed to sleep with another man?" Answer "No way, only me with women and you too". No thanks.

Sorry, I'm just having a rant, we can't afford to do nice things together but he can get porn with our money. It makes me so g*d damn angry. AAARRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Sounds like there are a few issues you need to address. First, he's way out of line to demand a 3some or anything else like that. Secondly the porno addiction is serious and a total disrespect to your relationship. Third, he should not be trying to control you.

You need to assess whether you really want to be with this guy. He has some serious issues.

Check out some of the articles on this website and they may help you.

You're young, you don't have kids with this guy, I have been reading your story for a while, and I advise you to run and don't look back. Even when you start your married life with a total gentleman, marriages can deteriorate over the long run due to the stresses of everyday life. Your H sounds like a sex addict. He is extremely disrespectful of you. Perhaps he wants you to be his mother and rein him in- is that a role you want to play?

There's alot of other fish in the sea. It's hard to be in your 40's, with a few kids, dumped by a cheating H. It can happen to anyone, but with this guy it seems LIKELY to happen, even if he cleans up his act on the surface. START with a man who has values, morals and a view of life that makes you happy and laugh.

My H treated me like a princess when we first met. Those memories, and knowing the man he CAN be, got us through some very ugly moments 13 years later during his MLC.

Look for that man who treats you like gold. A man who is romantic. Not some guy who wants you to be part of a threesome.

Don't be fooled by a bunch of flowers and sweet talk for one night. Why not go back to England (isn't that where you are from?) Get away from him and start a new life.