Hi everyone, I never thought I would be posting on this board because I thought my marriage was so solid . . . . well, I guess I was wrong.
Me and my H has been married for 15 years (we renewed our vows in May). We have three great kids (5 yrs - 11 yrs) and are typical kids. We are both active in our community and with the kids' lives.

Well, H was sent on a 6-week business trip out of state. We communicated every other night. Even though it was hard, I managed to maintain the household and entertain 3 kids who were off on summer break from school.

When H returned, he was so distant and very irritated all the time, especially with the kids. I just figured he was adjusting to life at home vs. a quiet motel room. Well that was 6 weeks ago.

On Halloween night, I opened MY cell phone bill (yes, his phone is on my account) and discovered 48 telepone calls to someone in another state. So I called the number and a girl answered. When dh returned from a neighbor's house, he first denied anything, then confessed he met someone while away, but she was just a friend . . . .someone he could talk to.

He preceeded to tell me that our marriage hasn't been great, and I knew that (which was a surprise to me) and he just felt lonely, even when me and the kids are around. He told me that the relationship with this other women was strictly for conversation . . . . nothing physical and he ended it mid-October (which agrees with the telephone bill).

I'm so hurt right now. He just not my husband, but my best friend, and it hurts that he had to turn to someone else . . . even if it was conversation. What bothers me too is that on the cell phone bill, I can see he called me and talked for 2 minutes and immediately called HER and talked for 50+ minutes.

Of course he naturally starting placing some of the blame on me "we don't have enough US time", "we don't talk", etc. We have three kids, yes it's hard to have "US" time, but when we do I'm the one who arranges it . . . .not him.

Anyways, he thinks I should get over the hurt quick and move on. He sees this relationship with this other women as a "good thing to help our marriage". He wants to see a marriage councelor (which I agree) to work things out. It really is a struggle each day . . . .some good, and some bad, I just want the pain and hurt to go away.

Thanks for listening . . . . I just needed someones shoulder to cry on. I feel like my world is crashing down.

Steffany

Ask you H to read this forum and see the terrible hurt these affairs cause everyone. Perhaps he will see some sense and stop his selfishness now. There are lots of lovely caring people on this site to give you comfort..I am feeling a bit resentful at the moment, sorry good luck

((Steffany)): It is WONDERFUL that your H realizes you need to both see a marriage counselor.

I made the mistake of allowing a "friendship" to fester with daily emails and phone calls. If there was any way to turn back time and erase the past, I would do it in a heartbeat.

Your H has actually identified something HE needs to give YOU--time together!

I also hope he will have a good look at this board and see the devestation affairs cause. Emotional affairs are just as unfair and devestating as physical affairs.

Here's wishing and praying for a stronger and happier relationship for you both.