Plese look at my other posting to see the background which brings me to this morning.

I got a call last night around midnight from my wife who said she was in trouble. Further discussion revealed that my 17 year old son had found a letter written to my wife's latest lover,OM2. Whether she sent it to him I don't know. She has a tendancy to write as a way to vent and let go of her anger or feelings.

On the phone she told me my son had found a letter or document which she believed was one I had found in March the year before. She told My son that I knew about this and about the affair with OM1.

Well as I talked to my son he mentioned this was not OM1, whom he is pretty close to, but another.

Needless to say I had him email the letter to me so that I could read it and ask my wife about it's contents.

I tried to explain, to my son, what I had learned about why people have afffairs and how I thought this had happened including the statistic that maybe as many as 50% of women will cheat in their marrages. I also hoped that he would understand that there are some things that were Parent issues and other things that were Parent-child issues.

Well now my son is experiencing the emotional roller coaster I did and I want to know what I can do to help him.

He has lost all trust in his mother and being 17 he was already trying to exert his presence and position in the world.

Also OM1 is palying a role on helping him prepare for college and a future career. So now he has to continue working with another adult that he has held in high regard and found out to be someone he no longer respects.

A year or so ago he mentioned to me that he'd kill me if he found out I had cheated on his mom. So I asked if that would be the same if she cheated on me. Now he knows why I asked him that.
I don't think I have to worry about that though.

What do I need to look for and how can I help him see that this is mostly a Parent - Parent issue? I've already told him that he and his mom will need to discuss how he feels about her betraying his trust in her as a mother/wife.