I haven't posted on this board since April but it is just the same crap that I thought was straightened out, apparently not. My husband told me that he didn't know if he loved me this past April, that is when he had his first affair out of state to someone he met on the beach after about 5 minutes of talking. We got through all of that and our relationship was better than it had ever been. So now he has started this distance thing again, he says he just wants me to leave him alone. He said that he doesn't know if he loves me or if he was ever in love with me. He says that he doesn't know what to do. I love him so much and with this being the second time he has done this to me this year, it is just overwhelming, I just can't believe it is starting all over again. He said that he has always put everyone else's feelings above his own and that he doesn't want to hurt me. He says that he can't stand not being happy anymore. He says it is not me it is him(haven't we all heard that one) I'm just so tired of being hurt over and over again, how can he put me through this crap again? He said that if he can't get his feelings straightened out this time that it was going to be the last time that we are going to go through this because it hurts. He said that he wishes he was just dead then he wouldn't have to hurt me. He went to talk to the pyschologist in April and she said that he had depression, he never went back and got any help, I have been telling him that I think the source of all of these problems is his depression, but he just thinks that it is our relationship. We have a 3 year old son together and I don't want his life to be messed up. I really don't think my husband knows how to love, his family life was really messed up, all I've ever wanted to do was to make him happy. I don't want to face the reality of raising our son on my own, I still love my husband, but he doesn't love me back, what am I to do about this?