I found out about my WW's A at the end of September. I contracted HSV2 from her and she had no choice but to admit that she was involved in an A. There are several things, however, that do not make sense to me concerning her description of the A. Please read the following and let me know if any of this makes sense. My WW claims that I was distant and did not seem to be happy. She met a man at our local city library and provided him with only her pager number. He contacted her and they met at various locations to talk and make-out. After meeting with him about six times, she had sex with him in the back of his SUV. This is how she became infected with Herpes. According to my wife, she never provided him with any other numbers for contact or disclosed any information concerning our address to this man. He in turn did only told her that he lived "down the street from the library" and that he was unhappy with his marriage. He also told her that his family was living with his mother-in-law. My wife and this man avoided any mention of commitment or love throughout their meetings. My wife claims that she feels no emotional attachment for this man and that her actions were selfish. After they had sex the one time in his SUV, she claims that she felt guilty and told him not to contact her anymore. After discovering the A, my WW gave me the pager to ease my mind that he would not contact her. Why would my WW claim that I was distant and then have sex with a man that obviously had no regard for either her health or marriage? What really disturbs me is that she claims that I was distant, but then has sex with a man who told her what she wanted to hear in an effort to get into her pants. Is this all due to fog? Has anyone in this message board ever heard of a situation like mine? The only thing that comes to mind is to compare what she did with someone who had a one night stand. Any thoughts on this will be greatly appreciated.

Sounds like it basically was a ONS. He was meeting her EN of attention and she got stupid. While it may or may not be true that you were distant during this time, it may well be true that she felt that way. Losing that connection we feel with our chosen mate can happen. And it can be completely one-sided. You may have never felt the lost, as you still felt that bond, while she did not. It happens.

Exactly, he told her what she wanted to hear! It's really not that difficult to expand the energy when someone is on the prowl to "get into her pants". And it's also something that we as married folks often forget just how important it is to do. We get "comfortable" and began to slack off on the little stuff. And the main point being...if we take care of all the little stuff...the big stuff almost takes care of itself as it's got all the foundation of caring to back it up.

It's difficult to deal with any betrayal, be it an EA, PA, or any combination thereof. One time or a hundred times. It all hurts.