mfisher1967 --
Where I live, we're in the midst of the holiday season for the next entire month plus, the worst time of the year for depression. When combined with a WS's A, it practically guarantees rough days and nights.
I'm very sorry for this mess in your life. Your images of your WW are normal.
Can't help you with ideas for medication. I was on Prozac for about three months but haven't taken it since last March. Maybe helped but I'm not sure how much. It did take a long time to "kick in" so make sure you get something that works fast. None of this 3-4 weeks until you see some results stuff. Don't be embarrassed to get some help here, it's a smart thing to do, why go it alone?
It's good that your W is aware of the intense she's caused. Shows that there's hope here. Mine won't acknowledge her responsibility at all ("get over it") so you're ahead of things already.
She can help to take your pain away (since she's brought it up): she can beg forgiveness, go into joint counseling with you, answer any and all questions you have fully and completely, recommit to your marriage, and sit with you while you cry.
I assume that she's broken off ALL contact with the OM. If not, that's the next step. She'll write a no-contact letter, let you read it, and you accompany her to the post office to mail it. Don't know the whole story here, so if you feel like filling in the holes, I'm here to listen.
The point being, she can make it better for you now, and maybe in time even make it better for the two of you.
Hang in and post again soon to let us know how you're doing. We are here for you...
Ammon
