Well I went to see my chaplin and my wife is going to do the same on Monday and then we're suppose to do marriage counseling. It's been 2 weeks since I found out about her A's. She still saying for me to get over it and stop dwelling in it and that she thinks I like feeling this way and that i refuse to let it go. Well I do in way because she betrayed my trust and anytime I feeli like I'm getting any better I remember that she did that to me and that is something that is really hard for me to forget or forgive. It was the way I was raised and she knows that. I just don't know what to do anymore. There is also a part of me that's wants to be on my own and do my own thing so I won't have to worry about this again. I really don't know what would stop her from doing this again when she's not happy or whatever. Any help this is killing me inside. I was going to leave before but she told me she doesn't want me to. She has been more emotionally than usually towards me. It seems like the only time I'm not going crazy is when we're making love. So i always want to do that which she's not overly crazy about. But then when we're doing it i wonder what it was like when she was with them. Was she willing to do stuff with them that I have to pull teeth to get her to do w/me. I just don't know if it's worth it.

Sounds as though your wife is still living in the fog, as in no remorse. This is strange, as she had recently posted a message in which she seemed to be truly sorry for what she had done. Perhaps your emotional "neediness" and strong desire to have sex on a frequent basis is pushing her away? You may want to ask her if she is serious about rebuilding your marriage, or if she is simply looking to be supported financially so that she can have another affair. I feel your pain, though in my case my WW has had no contact with the OM and she has shown a tremendous level of remorse since I found out about her affair. My WW basically had a one night stand after meeting the OM a few times. Based upon your prior posts, it sounds as though your WW is a serial cheater and may be prone to have another affair if the situation is not handled correctly. Marriage counseling is an excellent first step. My WW and I are also looking at counseling as well. Your WW will need to show remorse and be fully accountable for her whereabouts at all times. Buy the book Surviving an Affair from this site and read it together. I wish you well.

I agree with mfisher.
Is your wife seriously interested in saving the marriage and remorseful? Is she staying for you? or just for the children? or just for the money?
Several affairs? that's a bad sign.

It's been 2 years for me now, and I still ask all those questions. Believe me it gets better, but not for several months. Nothing you can do about that. When you wake up every morning, the situation grabs you by the throat and chokes the life out of you, and will only subside once you yourself get fed up of going through the same thing every day, ony then will you feel a little better.
You're not the only one who's gone through this.
Keep it together.

Hang in there. My wife also had multiple affairs. It took about a month after D-day to start feeling optimistic about the future for me, although I still feel the occasional twinge of anger and shame. We are now in MC with a very good counselor, and the sessions have been helpful. I recommend it highly, and see that you are on the right track where that is concerned. It is important, however, to see a MC that believes that saving marriages is a valuable thing. Some of them just tend to make divorce a more comfortable option.