My wife was on a 9 week work related trip with the OM, and started the A after 4 weeks. She has never met the OM before the trip, and is planning on spending her life with him. She isn't even the same person that she was before her trip started.
All of our friends and family are in complete shock, because there were no indications of any problems. We have 2 children ages 3 and 7, and have been married for 8 years, and together for 10 years. The OM is also married and has a 9 year old son. Her trip started on the 20th of Aug, and she returned on the 25th of Oct.
She told me about the A on Oct 30th, and I was willing to go with her and get some counselling to work things out, and rebuild the damage. She has been telling me for the last 4 weeks that she is thinking about us, but has been communicating with the OM every day, and not giving me the time of day. Three days ago she told me in the morning that she was really thinking hard about us, and wanted to break it off with the OM. The same evening, the OM left his wife, and now my wife says that we will never reconcile, because she no longer loves me <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> and she will continue her relationship with the OM.
She already wants a Divorce, and now my hands are tied. How can she throw it all away like that?
Before she left, we were talking about our future plans with the kids, and our plans of retirement.
There were no indications that our marriage was losing ground, or that we even had a problem.
She still has no answers as to why this is all happening. I'm seeing a therapist once a week, and she will see one on Monday, but I think that she won't end her visit to Never Never Land.
My kids are still unsure as to what is happening.
My 7 year old has seen a counsillor at school, but my 3 year old clings to every adult that is around, especially if his mother had just been with him. All I do is tell them that I love them, and none of this is their fault. When thay say that they miss their Mom, I can't lie to them, so I tell them that I miss her too. When they ask if she is coming back, I tell them to ask their Mom. She sees them for about 10 minutes in the morning, and 2 evenings a week for about 2 hours at a time. On the weekend she will take them overnight on either Friday or Saturday. Somehow, in that scrambled brain of hers, she thinks that she sees the children more than I do. I have been Mr. Mom to them since August, and are with them when they wake up in the middle of the night, and every morning, every evening at dinner, and all through the night.
She can come and go as she pleases, and can't see why I think that she should spend more time with the kids, rather than running around with the OM.
We live in a very tight community (Military), and we know most of the people around here. I always get information from our friends about where thay see her with the OM. She has given up on all of her friends, and only talks to people that have had A's on their H's and W's.
My brain wants to give up on her, but my heart says that 10 years is too much to just throw away.
I guess that life goes on, and the kids need me more than ever. I gotta keep going for them.
W 36 me 38
Married 8 years
together 10 years
We are both on our 2nd marriages
She did the same to her XH after 3 years, no kids involved (No,the A wasn't with me <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> )
<small>[ November 30, 2002, 01:23 AM: Message edited by: Burned ]</small>
