It has been 2+ months since I found out about my WW's affair. I am unable to rid my mind of images of my wife being pleasured by another man. It is also hurts to think that she welcomed his touch. I am sad and depressed much of the time because of these thoughts and they seem to hit me without a trigger or advance warning. My WW says that I look sad most of the time and she is doing her best to meet my emotional needs. I seem to need sex every day and I have a strong desire to be close to her and to kiss her all of the time. She claims that by having sex every day it is becoming routine and she does not seem to enjoy it as much. I am starting to have performance issues at work, though my supervisor is aware of the situation and is working to help me through this rough spot I am having. I beg God every day to help me through this, or to simply let me die. I am not suicidal, but feel that everything is in chaos in my life. What can I do? Has anyone else in here felt as low as I am feeling now? Is there hope?

yes,any and all of us that have been cheated on have hit this bottom.and somehow we all have survived.noone can make you guantees here,but we all have been there and made it.so will you.when the imagages start appearing,try to replace them with your good memories of your marraige.i used to have nightmares of the A.more nightmares of what i wanted to do to him!but they passed.i would strongly suggest you see your doctor and get antidepressants.they do help alot.your going to be depressed and hurt and theres no shame in seeking help.taking meds for this doesn't mean your crazy or weak.for me it allowed me to see things clearly.i could concentrate on saving the marraige instead of what happened.you cant change what happened but you can change what happens from here on out.
when "it" hits you ,and you cant seem to talk with your wife hop on line and let it out here.read others experiences and even offer your own views.you own words of encouragement to others can do a world of good for yourself too.
after the A i thought i had seen it all,but i learned alot more from these sites than i could have ever learned from my own marraige.i'm assuming that your trying to save your marriage so you have to save yourself first.your wife needs you as much as you need her to make it work.

Hi...I just want to tell you I know exactly what you are talking about. My H had an A and D-day was over a year ago. It nearly killed me..I felt like I had to learn to breathe again. I wasn't suicidal either but I sure thought it would be easier to be dead than to go through the hell I was in. I started counseling just to have someone to talk to (only a few people knew of A) and then started on medication in July. It has helped a lot to even out my moods and help me to think more rationally. It is not easy and it won't go away soon but there is hope.
Hang in there!

mfisher1967,

Wow, I'm right there with you. The sickening thoughts of my wife finding pleasure from the other man plague me all the time, every day.

Well, actually, now that I think about it, I didn't really think too much about it today or yesterday. Maybe time is starting to do its healing...

I started taking anti-depressants for the first time a couple of weeks ago. Whatta difference!!! I'm so glad I decided to take people's advice and go to the doctor and get the perscription. It REALLY takes the 'edge' off. If you aren't taking them, I HIGHLY sugjest giving them a chance.

Hang in there pal. EVENTUALLY, one way or the other, things WILL work out for you AND for me AND for all the others going through this.

-Wishin'

i will agree with all the above too. i dont think people have any idea how hurtful an affair is. its not discussed enough and the media portray it in such a frivolous manner without any thought for the suffering families. our media in the uk has been obsessed recently by a famous talentless blond who manages to stay in the limelight by discussing her affairs with other famous people. there has not been one mention of any of the suffering caused to the families and the betrayed spouses. it make me sick.

Hang on in there!
It's been 2 years for me since I discovered
wifey's big secret, and yes, I really it rock bottom, lost a lot of weight and sleep, and felt like S*** for many months.
But it gradually fades with time.
2 months is too soon.
You'll get so fed up feeling that way you'll put an end to your suffering yourself by forcing yourself to think about something else.
then you'll have a bad day. I see the OM drive by now and again and now manage to empty my head when I come across him, but that has taken 2 years.
Good luck.