H and I have been married for 7 years. We were in a state of Withdrawal from each other for 3 and a half years. This past summer, I had enough of his ongoing A's and told him I wanted a divorce. Since then, he has gone out of his way to work on our marriage. He terminated all contact with these OW, but refuses to be completely honest with me about all of it.

I have struggled with his dishonesty and lack of honesty for a long time. I have caught him actively engaged in three separate PA's. I only became suspicious after he had an EA which I found out about. While things have been going better between us, I don't feel as though I can truly move forward without knowing the truth. There are so many lies that he refuses to explain.

I have spent all day online printing up the Basic Concepts and so forth. I made sure to include the policy of radical honesty for him to read. I am giving these to him this evening when he gets home along with the questionaires.

I don't want a divorce, but he blames all of his A's on the fact that I was gone to the grocery store with the kids shopping for our food when he got the phone call that his grandfather passed away. He says that he was so hurt because I wasn't there for him when he needed me the most that he withdrew from me.

He gets very angry and defensive anytime I ask him about the past. I don't want to keep prying, but I really need some radical honesty if I can keep this flame of hope for our marriage alive. Wish me luck.

Have you seen the post about the "blame game" - it's over on General Discussion II about 2 or 3 pages back. Sounds like you could add to that discussion!

Anyway, Good luck. If I had to do it over, I wouldn't let him out of my sight until he finished those questionnaires and you went over them. Don't delay!!!!!!
DB