Once again I found another email account. I went to the doctor the other day and while I was gone he set up another account. I got into it this morning and just as I thought he was sending emails again. I handled this one much different. I quitely printed it off and stayed calm. I then went and confronted him with it by reading it to him. His response to it was he did not mean what it said and that he sent it to make her feel good. I am begenning to wonder if I have stupid written on my forehead. I was very proud of the way I handled it. I have been sad since then but I have no feeling. I am numb once again. I immediatly started praying and boy did it make a difference. The things he said in the email hurt very badly and made me very angry. Will the lying ever stop? Will he ever realize what he is doing to me?

Stephanie

How do you find these e-mails? I'm sure my husband has some too. He's not on the web much though. How do you get the passwards? I used to have the passward for his C-phone voice mail but the other day I was checking that, and it seems he's changed that one. I guess thats another sign of an Affair.

I too wish he would learn to tell the truth!

Just me

well my husband knew to delete the history on the browser but he did not delete the history on the computer. I just searched the history of the computer and it took me right where I needed to go. I have done it some other investigative work on the computer. It is fairly easy. I have found 4 email accounts within minutes of when he set them up.

Stephanie

stephaus10 --

I'm very sorry that you have found more evidence of your H's problems. You handled this recent situation so very well. You're not being stupid at all about any of this since it's so hard--almost impossible-- for BS's to accept and believe WS's betrayal, even when it's right in front of us. Who wants to believe it? Who should have to?

You ask, "Will the lying ever stop?" and "Will he ever realize what he is doing to me?" My view is that all WS's cross the line--by choice--and then spend much of their time and energy trying to justify their actions. His lies are born of necessity at this point, since he knows that you know. So he scrambles and tries to make it seem so very innocent. They all do. Lies are piled on top of lies; deceit and betrayal become a way of life. What the WS's don't realize: how much they're actually hurting themselves, not just their spouse and family and everyone else in the picture.

You have every right to be hurt by this and every right to feel angry. Come here to rage or vent or cry; we're here for you. Please post again and let us know how you're doing.

Ammon

stephanie,

Has he talked to you at all about this? Why he feels the need to make someone else "feel good" when he knows it's hurting you so much? Are you two going to counseling. Will he go? He needs to understand this is NOT innocent fun.

He says that it is his integrity that got the better of him. Which I think that he should be worried about his integrity with me not her. We sat down last night after we got the kids in the bed and talked. He said that the only way that he could explain it to me was that it was an addiction, Just like smoking or something like that. He tells me that he is very sorry and that he never meant to hurt me. He says that I won't be sorry that I stayed. We have had a pretty good weekend. I am still having problems believing him. I even unplugged the cable modem and took it with me when I had errands to run. We have been to counseling with our pastor at church. He said that he did not want to see him this week though. He has agrred to see him this next week. He said that he wanted to talk to him by himself also. I don't know what else to do. Anyway, thanks for all of the advice and for letting me vent.

Stephanie

I will keep my fingers crossed that the meeting with the pastor goes well. My WH is a sex addict so my heart goes out to you. Addiction of anything seems to bring out the worst in a person. The lies, the cover-ups, the excuses, the downplaying and minimalizing of his behavior even when caught red-handed are all too familiar for me. I hope that he is able to take the help the pastor may be able to provide. (((((HUGS)))))