First of all, I would like to apologize for the way I came into this site. My first post was on a very heated thread and, understandably, raised some suspicions on my identity.
I'm Anny. I've been divorced for 8 years, now. Although I didn't just find out, I remember it like it was yesterday. Speaking for myself, that was the part that had the most lasting effect on me, and the part I wish I couldn't remember. I wish I would of had a place like this to come to during that time!
My ex-husband probably could of gotten away with it, without me finding out. But for some reason, he sat me down, and spilled his guts. He had an alcohol and drug problem, which should of been reason enough to leave him, but I guess I had to wait for something a little more personal to happen! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> But he wanted to change his life around, and decided to just empty his closet on me. So I listened, and I told him that I would stay, because he chose to be honest with me, but if it happened again, I would be gone.
Well a few years down the road, it happened again. Apparently he was to afraid to come home and face me. After I did finally track him down, and found out he was still alive, I went home, gathered my belongings, and my 3 babies, and left. He agreed to me meet at the apartment where we had lived, at 10:00pm, to talk. Well, he didn't show, so I called him and asked him if we were meeting to talk, and his reply was, "I'll be home in a while." And my reply to him was, "I don't think you understand, I do not live here anymore, I was just here to talk, but if you're too busy, I'll catch you another time."
Well needless to say, he made it across town in a very small amount of time, to "talk". He begged, and pleaded, and even cried. He didn't want a divorce. And as difficult as it was for me, I had to leave. That was on of the most devestating things I have ever done. I was only 24 yrs. old, and I felt like I was experiencing a death! In some ways, I did. The death of my marriage.
If it would of just been about just the OW's, we might of been able to rebuild. But because there was an alcohol and drug problem involved, I had to take my kids and leave. I had to learn the hard way that I could not "fix" him. I wanted to save him, but instead, he was dragging us down HIS road, and I just couldn't do it anymore.
We've were married for 7 years, and now divorced for 8. Our children are now teenagers. He and I live in different states, and we are friends now. Not the ending I ever expected. He is remarried now, and I have also become friends with his wife. Unfortunatley, his path lead him to incarceration. He again, wants to change his life around. For his sake, and the sake of his new marriage, and our kids, I really hope he does.
I, on the other hand, have chosen to remain single until these kids are raised. They are my first job and my main priority.
Anyway, I could go on and on, but I'll stop here. I just wanted to share a little, and to let you all know that I've been there, and I wished I could of been here during that time in my life. Thankyou for reading. Take care.....
Anny
