Well the saga continues. My wife called me last week afer her surprise"show-up at the house a week and a half ago. At three am in the morning, (a to and a half hour drive in the rain). During this conversation she informs me she wants to come on Fridy for the weekend. I come home from work and find her busily occupied with our six year old son.

She arrived round one o' clock.This is the most time she has spent here in many months.
Much of the conversation recently had revolved around reconciliation. e put up the tree and decorate the house withour boys.
The week end turned out very well. The Fog seems to be lifting more and more and rapidly at this point.
She is also suffering from some menopausel issues
and is going to see the OB/GYN . Her health and looks are also suffering from alchohol abuse. She has admitted to needing counseling and alchohol addiction therapy.
Our weekend was puctuated by more than one intimate encounter and she was very receptive to my advances.
She knows time is running out and that she needs to start making some decisions.
I started plan A in September and aftr one month went to plan B. I am now back in Plan A and she seems to be in a state of conflict. I am going to continue to be patient while I continue to work on myself. Things appear to be going in a more positve direction. I expect some bumps along the way , but as long as it keeps going on a better path, I will comtinue to be patient. I am very guardedly optimistic . The one big positive is that she says she really misses her boys. She proved it by spending much more time with them this time. And when she left, she rolled down her window and said "I love you and I will be back very soon". For the time being, I am Plan Aing, and she seems to be responding to it very well.
Anyway,maybe there is hope......To Be Continued.
Seasons Greeings to All !

Good news! But am glad you're not jumping for joy and you're still being guarded. Hopefully, she'll carry through on seeking some help for her drinking problem. Be sure that if things continue to show improvement that you have a good plan for reconcilation BEFORE it takes place.

Good Luck!

Gregg M it's great to hear from you and see that despite the turmoil you have your head on straight.

As far as your situation with your WW, I would not get my hopes way up high because she has not said that she has ended her A and agreed to no contact with OM. Have you thought that maybe she came back to aleviate her conscience and now that she has done that, she's going to return to her OM? I ask this because I see this happening, ad nauseum, with other folks whose WS comes back (after plan B has been implemented) saying how much s/he misses him/her and promises to return but actually ends up back with the OP stronger than ever. False recoveries are bad because they enable the WS to cast all doubts that the BS will move on with his/her life, and the WS starts to behave now worse than before the implementation of plan B. Not to mention your children suffer as well because they get the false hope that their mother is back to stay for good and thus become very sad when that doesn't turn out to be the case. My point in all this? be prepared to immediately go to plan B if she goes back to her old ways.

Well TooMuchCoffeeMan, you were right. I called her lasr night to discuss a day for her to come back to sign papers to re-fi the hacienda. When I called, she acted like I was a telemarketer. Stating" I can't talk now, I am playing cards".(Wonder if it was strip poker). Anyway, she started to tell me that she couldn't talk and I asked her to move to an area where she could. We got the schedule out of the way and I asked her how she felt. She said that she was very confused and that her lover was treating her well(although I know they have had nany arguments lately) and that she cared for him , but loved me too. She said she was very confused about what to do.
It is very obvious by her statements to me that she has indeed cleared her concious and appeared to be pleased with her situation.
I realized after last night , with the boys having some false hope too about her returning that Plan B must be implented, but not until I get the re-fi done. I will then tell her not to contact us, Christmas or not.
I am going to continue with Plan B until February which is when she will be a legal resident of the state she lives in now. Hopefully, with a lawyers advice, I will be able to get more favorable divorce terms there. I seriously doubt that two months of Plan B will be enough to get her back to her senses.
But there are other realities at work here for me now. She is an alchoholic, she has some serious emotional problems and she is now suffering from the beginnings of menopause. This has caused indeciseivness with her. I really do not see much difference between what we are going theough now...and a real divorce.
She "fooled me" into thinking she was for real.But as usual, the selfishness of an affair got in the way and she cleared her concious. I am sure she is suffering from much guilt but it is of no importance to me.
The issues of how to terminate the marriage will be of timing and what is right for me and the boys. Her feelings do not factor in anymore. The divorce papers will be a surprise. I have planned it that way.
Her history and her actions are too much for me to want to overcome now. I stated in my mind that this last Plan A attempt would be my last. After that it was back to Plan B and the wait until the end of February.
For me, it is over. I will not try anymore to reconcile. TooMuchCoffeeMan, your advice and counsel has been right on the money. Thank you.
She may try to stop me from divorce, but alas it is too late now. She must live with the consequences, good, bad or indifferent.
Her behavior will be too destructive without help. And I am no longer willing to try to lead her to that. It is plain that she must do this on her own.
And I have learned to be calmer, more thoughtful and know that I am better now for the experience. I am sure thatI will be sad for my boys over the loss of a once beautiful family. But, that is gone forever. I will love them and support them the best I know how. I hope that it will be enough.
Oddly, I wish the best for my wife. I hope she finds the help and ultimately, the happiness she so desparately seeks. I hope to help others here as well. I will return.