Is there anybody who can help me answer a big question. Can a relationship be strong and everlasting if one spouse is never 'IN LOVE' with the other but there is a very strong feeling of love between the 2. When we filled out our EN questionnaire, I found out my WW was never 'in love' with me, yet she says that her love for me is so strong that she can't give me up even for the feeling of being 'in love', or else she would have doen that long time ago. I am in love with her, and I also love her to eternity, but I would like to be bale to bring out these feelings of being 'in love' also. We are both committed to rebuild our M, and she told me that she is looking at me from a different perspective than before, and that I should not worry about our future, because she would never leave me even if she will never feel that she is 'in love' with me, she knows that she loves me so much that she would be miserable without me. She told me that I am the one she could not live without.
Can love surpass and overcome the feeling of being 'in love' over time?
Please help me if you can.
hurtinheart

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I found out my WW was never 'in love' with me, yet she says that her love for me is so strong that she can't give me up even for the feeling of being 'in love', or else she would have doen that long time ago. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Maybe I am being the eternal optimist here, but I don't believe that for asecond. That sounds like "fog-ese" to me. But you are both committed which is great. IMHO it will take time and patience. I would not hang on every word. Actions speak much louder. Don't doubt yourself for a milli-second and keep going! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

IMO i think this is fogese too. Ask her what her definition of being "in love" is and i'm betting your gonna get the definition of "new relationship infatuation". JMHO

Thanks for the answers, I also felt that her words are foggish, and she did tell me that in the A everything was so perfect, and she felt a spark, she felt turned on all the time, something she never felt with me. What really made me think that she is right was when she told me that if feeling 'in love' would have been so important for her, she would have left me long time ago, but she did not because hse does love me and she can find happiness with me with all the other things i give her and she feels for me.
Still confused, have not yet heard if love can overcome 'being in love' in the long run. i believe that love changes in time so does being in love, it becomes respect, appreciation, caring, and need for the other's companionship, but there may be something else out there that i don't know about???
HH

Well...try this and see if it fits. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Maybe she is confusing being in love with falling in love. We all know that falling in love is intoxicating and a rush, for sure.

IMO, there is a big difference between falling in and being in love.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> ... have not yet heard if love can overcome 'being in love' in the long run. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">IMVHO, given the differences between the two, this question becomes: " ...have not yet heard if being in love can overcome 'falling in love' in the long run. ..."

Again, IMVHO, these are two very different beasties. Does that help? May someone else can chime in on this.

Luki, I get the message, it sounds very debatable. We know that falling in love outpowers being in love in the short run, however the falling in love can not possibly last forever, after all that is why A's usually die after a while, after the 'falling in love' fog clears up, then it is back to being in love with the person one chooses to be in love with. My biggest concern is that if she can't fall in love with me, even though she'll be in love with me, over time she may slip again and fall in love with someone, and there is anothe A, that i know i could not deal with. Touchy subject, but need as much reassurance as i can get.

HH